Randalls' Reflections

Changing blog locations

2011-09-05T21:07:00.001-04:00

We have decided to switch our blog over to Wordpress.
All of our future posts will be found there. All of our previous posts (including photos and comments) have been transferred to the new site.
Here is our new blog address:
www.randallsreflections.wordpress.com

We hope you enjoy the new location.

Peace

Photo of the Week: Irene and Moving

2011-08-29T21:47:00.000-04:00

Here are two photos. One is of Ceara watching the wind from Irene whip through the trees in our current apartment. The other is the view from our new winter rental as Irene blew across the water.

Reunion and Withdrawal (and with-drawl)

2011-08-23T12:37:00.001-04:00

The past few days have held a mix of emotion for me. I have rejoiced at spending time with Courtney, Ceara, and Caleb. I have missed the 28+ people with whom I spent the past three weeks.

I celebrate the reunion. I mourn this feeling of withdrawal from an intense, intentional community experience. And while at the end of three weeks I definitely said certain things with-drawl (thanks to the Southern contingent), I'm glad that my speech has returned to its somewhat normal state.

I long for opportunities in the future when Courtney, Ceara, Caleb, and I could engage in intentional living with others. I am challenged to see how I can do that in our current context.

Not sure where the thoughts are heading now... until next time, peace.

Photo of the Week - YAMs get Commissioned

2011-08-22T14:53:00.005-04:00

This is a photo of the Young Adult Missionaries with Thomas Kemper, who is the General Secretary of Global Ministires. They were commissioned on Thursday, August 18th, and now they head out to 8 U.S. States and 11 countries.

Photo of the Week - 5 years ago...

2011-08-15T12:02:00.001-04:00

This past Friday marked our 5th Wedding Anniversary. WooHoo!!!

Another Prayer for the Young Adults

2011-08-15T11:52:00.001-04:00

I AM

Great I AM,
You give us a name of seeming ambiguity,
Yet you give us a name of Promise, Hope, and Possibility.

We read and hear about aspects of who you were and what you have done.

Sometimes, in moments of faithfulness we proclaim who You are,
and, unfortunately, in moments of arrogance we expound upon who we think You are or how we think that You should be.

Thank You for times when in moments of doubt and/or faithfulness we can still proclaim that You are.

Other times we feel like You are not,
or that You are - but for other places and other people and not with us here and now.

Forgive us, Help us, Heal us, Be to us,
for Your glory, honor, and praise,
because You were, You are, and You will be for us forever.
Amen.

*Another "prayer plainly spoken" for the US-2s and Mission Interns based upon reflections around Exodus 3:14 in which God's response to Moses' question of, "Who shall I say sent me?" is, "Tell them, 'I AM that I AM has sent me to you.'" This is the English rendering, yet the Hebrew has a fuller sense of continuation in that it also could be translated, "I was that I was, and I will be what I will be."

Redeeming and Recycling God: another prayer for the young adults

2011-08-13T11:03:00.001-04:00

This prayer needs a bit of an introduction both for its style and its content. I experienced this style of prayer with different people and in various communities, yet most formative for me was Stanley Hauerwas praying this way before each ethics class for an entire semester. Some of these prayers are collected in a book titled " Prayers Plainly Spoken."
This prayer results from various thoughts and images coming together: One) our move to Maine where one pays a deposit on cans and bottles; Two) the image of the man who walks through the neighborhood and the sound of him rummaging through garbage cans searching for cans and bottles he can take to the redemption center and earn a little cash; Three) the young adults who have a passion for breaking cycles of injustice, abuse of power, and poverty, yet who also wrestle with their own brokenness; Four) the verse from the Bible found in Micah chapter 6 verse 8 which says, "God has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? Do Justice, Love Mercy, and Walk humbly with the Lord;" Finally) the style of prayer in which we use words intentionally to name God, reflect upon an event or circumstance, express what we feel, and remember the call to love God and love neighbor.

REDEEMING AND RECYCLING GOD

Redeeming and Recycling God, sometimes we can feel like the empty Coke can cast aside. Used and discarded, we long for someone to search for us, to find us, to redeem us, and to recycle our lives into purpose again.

Other times - by our actions and our inactions - we treat others like Coke cans.
Awaken us to when we cast aside others unaware.
Help us, for even in awareness we might try to "recycle" others, yet discard them nonetheless.

Forgive us, we pray.
Empower us to do justice and live with those cast aside;
to love mercy and speak prophetic words for those casting aside;
to walk humbly and become aware of when we perpetrate and remain aware that You are (and we are not) the redeemer.

Thank you for redeeming us for value with the deposit made on the cross.

Recycle us and transform us to see how You want to reincorporate us into Your story.
Resurrect us and grow our imaginations for ways to reincorporate those cast aside into Your story of love, compassion, truth, and grace.
In the name of the resurrected Christ, Jesus of Nazareth, Amen.

Aslan is on the Move

2011-08-12T17:27:00.003-04:00

"Aslan is on the move."

This line from "The Chronicles of Narnia" started coming to mind a couple of weeks ago, and since then it has continued to pop in and out of my thoughts on a daily basis.

"Aslan is on the move," is what the Narnians said to each other when the snow started melting and they began to see glimmers of hope as pockets of resistance would rise up against the White Witch. (I know that is not a great synopsis, yet it will have to do for now.)

About a month ago I spent a few days in Grove City, PA at a gathering of folks who had a passion for reclaiming the terms Church, Christianity, and Missions from the negative and wounding ways that many people associate with those words.

"Aslan is on the move."

A few weeks ago I attended a conference with about 95 campus ministers who wanted for their campus ministries to rupture the narratives of cultural and civil religion that also promote the negative impressions of Christianity.

"Aslan is on the move."

For the past two weeks I have had the tremendous privilege and opportunity to share life together with 26 (including one via Skype) amazing young adults who have decided to give the next two or three years to live with communities in poverty working for justice, mercy, and peace, and in so doing provide a tangible witness and experience to people of God's love, compassion, presence, and grace.

As I hear their stories over meals, in large and small groups, and in one-on-one moments, I cannot help but get excited for their lives, the communities where they will live across the US and around the world, and for the way they will join in God's holy work of healing the world.

"Aslan is on the move!"

Click here for information about the United Methodist Church's Young Adult Missionary Service Programs.

Click here for a story about one of the young adults named Wil.

The Great I AM: A Prayer for the Young Adults in Mission

2011-08-09T16:50:00.004-04:00

May the Great I AM

Hear You

Deliver You

Protect You

May the Great I AM

Provide for You

Nourish You

Guide You and Lead You

May the Great I AM

Teach You

Train You

Transform You

May the Great I AM

Redeem You

Restore You

Rejoice over You

May the Great I AM

have all of your lives -

all of your faith, hope, and trust,

all of your doubt, anxieties, failures, and shortcomings -

that you may know the Great I AM in ever deeper and fuller ways

because the Great I AM - the triune God - was, is,

and will be for you...forever.

Alleluia.

AMEN

*This prayer of blessing, in the Celtic Tradition, was written for the young adults currently being trained in Stony Point, NY with the United Methodist Church. The story of Israel's Exodus and Exile and relationship with God ("I AM" is the name given to Moses by God in the book of Exodus, and it is a name by which Jews and Christians continue to call on God today) as seen through the stories of the Old Testament.*

Photo of the Week - One Year-Old

2011-08-08T12:00:00.002-04:00

Caleb celebrated his first birthday this past week. Courtney drove Ceara and Caleb down to Stony Point, New York (where I am co-facilitating a training of 25 young adults going into mission service with the United Methodist Church) so that we could celebrate together.

A Distinction between Missions and Mission

2011-08-01T11:52:00.001-04:00

I was pointed to this quote today from Leslie Newbigin, and I found it a helpful distinction between words often confused.

"Mission is the entire task for which the Church is sent into the world. By 'missions' I mean those specific activities undertaken by human decisions to bring the Gospel to places or situations where it is not heard, to create a Christian presence in a place or situation where there is no such presence or no effective presence."
(Leslie Newbigin in "The Logic of Mission," p.20)

I don't think he is referring to proselytizing, rather he is recognizing that Christians do have a viable, authentic, and alternative way of living. This living is not over and against other cultures necessarily, rather it is recognizing the opportunity to: live peace into places of violence; work for freedom in places of slavery; restore dignity into places of marginalization; live in solidarity with those who are oppressed; etc. And the reason Christians can live that way is because of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ that provides a the hope, freedom, and strength to live life in such a way.

I know that is not an exhaustive list, but I'm just trying to wrap my head around this quote.

Photo of the Week

2011-08-01T09:40:00.001-04:00

Ceara loves to dress herself before we go out. She chose the sweater Grammy made even though it was a hot day.

Photo of the Week - coffee time

2011-07-25T16:22:00.001-04:00

At the tail end of a campus ministers' conference I had a chance to visit some friends who just moved and to preach in their new congregations. On Sunday morning my friends told me they haven't come across their coffee grinders yet in the unpacking. So I decided to use their mortar and pestle instead in order for us to enjoy some morning coffee.

Photo of the Week - Bono and U2

2011-07-18T10:41:00.001-04:00

Courtney and I discussed a way to have more of a consistent presence with this blog. We decided that we could start a weekly photo capturing something of our lives - whether an event or nature or outing - from the week.

What better way to start than with Bono from U2?

A few weeks ago we planned for me to fly into Philly on the 14th to meet up with Court's family at their reunion in NJ. On a whim last Saturday (the 9th) we looked for U2 tour dates this summer, and we found that they would be in Philly on the 14th! Court has never seen them, neither has her brother whose birthday is the 14th. So we bought the three cheapest tickets available just to have the experience.

We walked around the parking lot people-watching all of the tailgaters, and as I looked to my right I saw Bono lining up for a photo with some folks. Court, her brother, and I could not believe it. So instead of approaching and asking for our photo, too, we had a discussion about whether or not it was really Bono. By the time we decided it really was Bono he had gone back to the tour bus on a dozen yards away.

Oh, the show was awesome!

Ebenezer

2011-07-12T10:25:00.001-04:00

I am writing this blog from Grove City College in Pennsylvania where I am attending the Western PA "Cooperative School of Christian Mission" sponsored by the United Methodist Women of WPA.

It started raining as I walked across the campus, which reminded me a cross between Seattle Pacific and Duke with the architecture, the stone work, and the foliage. I ducked into the Student Union Building and explored that a bit, and I came across a room on the second floor that overlooked most of the campus. I watched as the rain washed over a boulder in the middle of campus. This stone had some significance because it was marked with a plaque and benches and landscaping surrounded it. I thought, "Now I wonder how many people would know the story of that stone if it had no plaque and no benches. If no one or nothing helped people to remember why it held significance than - for most - it would be just another large stone." I started thinking about "Ebenezer" - Hebrew for stone of remembrance - a stone used as a symbol to mark something significant.

Remembering done well is not merely idealizing the past for it helps to reconstitute the significant event or moments in a way that moves them from a past experience and grows them into a living part of the past. This re-membering done well serves as a basis for tradition. When it is not done well it can verge on the edge of sentimentality and mundane routine. Re-membering well helps people to find their significance in something other than their current circumstances. Re-membering well reminds people that their lives are located within a narrative greater than their own, and their story only makes sense when located within the larger story of humanity, the world and all of creation.

The 4th of July serves as an Ebenezer of sorts for me, yet not in more ways than just the traditional sense. For many Americans, The 4th symbolizes freedom and it is remembered with hot dogs, watermelon, and fireworks. For me, though, The 4th serves as a marker of significant moments in my life and my faith journey. For example, last year we arrived in Maine on The 4th to begin this current stage of our journey. In the past 12 years The 4th has found me serving in various ministry contexts: Latvia, France, Italy, Israel, Kosovo, Branson, MO, Santa Cruz, CA, and Albania. Each of these places marks significant moments in how the faith journey and serving in ministry mesh together in the reality of life in this world.

I let The 4th pass by this year with a faint nod of acknowledgement, and maybe that is why I am writing this blog. I need to re-member the border crossing in a war zone, the dropping of watermelons from a climbing tower, the lighting of store bought fireworks in a field, and the conversations with friends across the world. I need to re-member, because it reminds me that my story only makes sense within the stories of friends, and within the larger story of God's work in this world.

Re-membering my story, and ultimately, God's faithful work and steadfast love in the midst my story, helps me to live with hope even though I don't understand the frustrations and disappointments of the past few months. Re-membering well can bring perspective and open me up to receive the deep peace that God offers. Re-membering well allows opportunities for the restoration of joy.

Traveling is a Good Excuse

2011-07-11T19:50:00.000-04:00

It's been ages since I have written a blog or a journal entry or really anything for that matter.
I have told myself it is because of the amount of traveling I've been doing recently - the driving, the inconsistent schedules, helping the kids adjust to new surroundings, etc. I guess that is just as good as an excuse as others. When I'm not traveling I have used tooth pain and a root canal or early mornings with the kids to justify not writing.

I don't lack inspiration - I have had many a sleepless night with ideas for blogs, or funny storied of the kids, and I have seen amazing sunsets and other beauty in creation about which I couldn't wait to write. Yet when I finally pick up a pen or get to a computer the thoughts which seemed so clear earlier turn out to be a mirage - a vapor, a shimmering mist, nothing tangible to grasp.

Ceara turned two in June, and Caleb will turn one in a few weeks. (see picts below). Courtney was ordained in Raleigh, and unfortunately I didn't get any photographs of the event. I hear that summer is Maine is nice, but I won't be there much this summer to experience it. Hopefully in all of the traveling I will find a way to write again.

My Response to the Death of Osama Bin Laden

2011-05-10T12:24:00.002-04:00

In this past week many have written about the death of Osama bin Laden, and because of this I thought that would not write. However, as the week progressed and I found myself engaged in conversations about Osama's death, I felt that I needed to write.

My thoughts reflect upon the response of Christians to Osama's killing. Those who are not Christian can respond according to their beliefs. Yet, as Christians, the reality of the life, death, resurrection, and anticipated return of Jesus of Nazareth actually affects our responses to situations like this.

I will begin with an excerpt from my journal upon hearing the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed, and I will end with some quotes that a friend sent to me as he reflected upon the killing ~ they help to articulate the myriad of thoughts in my head.

"I admit that I'm saddened to read all the news articles because they tell of how many people were/are rejoicing in the streets. Yes, this man planned and/or headed operations that killed many people, but I find it difficult to rejoice over the death of someone. I'm not trying to sound pious..."

I am also saddened by all of the debates occurring via Facebook status updates and Twitter - especially those that use Scripture as "Bible Bullets" in an attempt to defeat and to silence another's opinion. In the cacophony of voices and words saying, "Right... Wrong... Just... Unjust... Yes!... No..." maybe I just wanted silence - the same silence as when I hear that anyone has been killed.

The World voraciously consumes reactions from all angles, groups, and positions. And, the Church should respond to help the World understand how Christians view life and death differently in light of God's redeeming and reconciling work through the life, death, and life-again of Jesus Christ.

When I say, "the Church" I do not mean a specific denomination or specific tradition. I do not mean the Church in the EU or the Church in the USA or the Church associated with any nationality. The Church, while comprised of members from all nations, stands outside of any national allegiance.

The following quotes - while coming from people located within specific traditions - speak from the truth of Christianity that transcends all traditions and national loyalties.

"Christians do not celebrate the death of murderers; Christians celebrate the death of the saints." ~ Rev. Dr. William Turner, Professor of Homiletics, Duke Divinity School

"Osama bin Laden - as we all know - was gravely responsible for promoting division and hatred between peoples, causing death of countless innocent lives, and of exploiting religions to this end. Faced with the death of a man, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibility of each and every one of us before God and before man, and hopes and commits himself so that no event be an opportunity for further growth of hatred, but for peace." ~ Fr. Federico Lombardi, Vatican Press Office Director, in response to journalists' questions on the killing of Osama bin Laden.

I do not intend for this to be a post about Just War v. Non-Violence or the Right v. Wrong of the killing. I am concerned, though, in how Christians respond to killing and how do Christians' responses - whatever they may be - witness to God's plan for reconciling and restoring all members of Creation into right relationships with God and with one another.

I hope I have articulated a bit of what I am thinking and feeling.

"Lay Me Down to Live"

2011-04-28T11:55:00.001-04:00

A few weeks ago I had a collision of thoughts during three simultaneous events as I drove Ceara and Caleb to childcare that inspired new perspectives on faith, theology, and resurrection.

Event 1: We listened to Andrew Peterson’s new album “The Far Country.” He has a song called “Lay Me Down” in which he has a line that says, “When you lay me down to die you lay me down to live.”

Event 2: At a stop light I read an email from a friend, John Varden, stating that a parishioner I knew from Center UMC died in his sleep that night.

Event 3: As we drove through the light we reached the point on the drive where I ask Ceara if she wants to “Shema” and I proceeded to sing the Shema. This is a prayer from Deuteronomy 6:4ff that I learned while I lived in Israel, and it is something practicing Jews pray at least once, if not multiple times, a day. It starts, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is God, the Lord is One, and you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your strength…”

Collision: I had the parishioner on my mind as I sang the part of the prayer that says, “remember these words I am commanding you today… teach them to your children when you lie down and when you rise up…,” and at that point “when you lay me down to die you lay me down to live…” rang out over the radio.

It hit me (I guess this is where the collision happens ;) ) … Yes, I knew that Israel, as many Ancient Near Eastern cultures, observed (and still do) a lunar calendar. And I know that their day begins at sundown rather than sunrise. Their days did not begin by getting up and end with lying down. Rather, their days began (and still begin) with lying down and end with getting up and living. The symbol of resurrection practically shouted at me. Then I read Genesis chapter 1 again: “…and it was evening and morning the first day… and it was evening and morning the second day… etc…”

The Christian story has undercurrents of resurrection from the very beginning, hinted at in the greatest commandment, culminated in Easter, and now is the hope in which we can all live in the present and carry into the future.

I’m not quite sure if I expressed these thoughts clearly. I wrote them quickly in my journal and copied them just about as quickly here. I find if I wait until I re-read, edit, re-think, re-write, then the blogs never get posted, and I wanted to get these thoughts on the blog.

I welcome any comments or thoughts or reactions… thanks.

PEACE

Dan

Puddles, Seagulls, and Garbage Trucks

2011-04-27T11:19:00.002-04:00

Ceara amazes me with her continual ability to make me stop, look, and listen.

The weather in Maine has warmed up a bit (40s and 50s) in the past week, and Courtney and I have taken this opportunity to walk around the neighborhood with Ceara and Caleb. Ceara loves to stop at puddles and say, "Water, Water, mommy, Water." She stoops down and watches the ripples caused by the wind or dipping her hand in it. Her joy transforms an ordinary pothole filled with dirty water into a moment of experiencing Creation in a new way. Her awe with the puddle continues as she stands up and jumps in with her new, green rain boots.

I look at the seagulls that circle the neighborhood and call out, "mine, mine, mine..." (That is a "Finding Nemo" reference for those who don't get it.) in a new way because Ceara will stand with her head skyward watching them fly and perch on rooftops. "Bird, daddy, Bird." Learning language opens a whole new world to her and reminds me of the wonder in the world in which we live.

This morning Ceara woke up at 5.15am :) As we played she heard the garbage truck on the next street. We ran to the front of the apartment so she could watch the truck come down the street. She asked for help in opening the window so she could hear the sounds more clearly, and so she could yell, "Hi! Hi! Hi!" to the workers emptying the cans into the back of the truck. I'm not sure that is what they were expecting at 5.45am. She stood at the windows for over 5 minutes as they worked their way down the entire street, and then she waved goodbye to the truck as it turned the corner.

These three snippets merely exemplify the way she causes us to pause throughout the day and notice and find wonder in the normal and ordinary.

A Slight Change in Organizational Style

2011-04-17T20:27:00.001-04:00

I have had to modify my organizational working style recently. I confess that I use a palm pilot - I have for quite some time. However, I have used the low-tech version. For years I have written on my hand - things to do, reminders for journal entries, names and places and events...
I need to change, though. Ceara is at the age where she is doing two things really, really well. First, she is learning to draw and color with crayons, chalk, pencils, and, sometimes, pen. We have had to set the boundaries of where and on what she can color and draw, and - for the most part - it has gone well. Second, she mimics EVERYTHING that Courtney and I do. The other day while we sat on the couch eating a snack I remembered something I needed to do for work. Absent-mindedly I pulled a pen from my pocket and wrote a note on my hand. A short time later she had a pen, and instead of drawing in the book she was drawing on her arm. :) I am thankful for her ability to keep me consistent with what we say and what we do.
Soooo, I am searching for a new way to keep track of reminders and things to do.

Prayers for the People

2011-03-28T10:53:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I can pray spontaneously, and sometimes I need to write something down beforehand to help me to pray. A week ago Sunday (20Mar2011) at Cornerstone I wrote down the following prayer, and for the past week have thought that I should post it... so here it is:

Loving God, we confess that our lives, our prayers, and our belief in you focus more often on ways in which we want either to be kept safe or shielded from pain. Yet Your life in Jesus demonstrates that safety and pain-free lives are not promises for those who follow You. Instead what you reveal in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus is a promise of abiding presence – to comfort, to mourn, to rejoice. We as Christians are not guaranteed to get out of this life alive, but You, Creator and Redeemer, promise resurrection.

Forgive us for the times when we look to save our own lives and preserve our own comfort at the expense of others losing their lives and comfort. Forgive us for the times when we think of You, Jesus, as merely a human with extra special abilities. You are not a super-hero. You are God who, with words and out of love, created the universe and the ground on which we walk, and You formed our bodies and breathed into us the breath of life.

You alone know why, at times, healing happens in ways we want, and, at other times, why You seem to ignore our cries for healing. Help us to know and to trust Your presence always – even when we don’t understand and cannot feel anything but pain and aloneness.

Disciple making and sending God, for those in this world who do not know Your love as revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth and who are experiencing tragedy and loss – send comfort and compassion to them and may they learn to name You as the source of true love and lasting peace. For those rejoicing – may they know Your presence and open their hearts to know that all good gifts come from You. For those who are exploiting others and for those who lead using arrogance, pride, and violence – humble them and work in them that they would see that they are fleeting but You are forever, and You are God…

Lord, You know the prayers and concerns spoken aloud today and the ones we have trouble naming even in our own hearts… You know the circumstances and situations and needs of each person, family, and community affected by these requests, and we ask that Your will be done. Help us to be open to the ways in which You will answer, and help us to trust You always, that You would be glorified, honored and praised.

And now, please do a new work in us as we pray the prayer Jesus taught to the disciples trusting that You will work within us both to will and to do Your good pleasure…

Our Father…

From Coffee to Peace - a sermon exploring my Lenten journey

2011-03-20T22:37:00.002-04:00

I (Dan) preached this sermon today at Cornerstone UMC in Saco, Maine. I post it here just to show some of my thoughts and reflections at this point in my journey.

I want to explore Micah 4:1-4 today and share with you how it has affected my Lenten Journey. Yet before I do, I want to make some comments about Lent and Prayer so that what I say about Micah might make sense.

Lent is a 40-day journey to the cross that prepares us for Easter. I always assumed that Lent was 40 days because Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days. I also assumed that the period of Lent was actually 40 days. Then one year I took out the calendar to see how many more days until I could have coffee again, and I realized that there were actually 47 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter. I talked to some friends and did some research and discovered that the early Church called Sundays little Easters because Christ rose on Sunday. So, I counted from Ash Wednesday to Easter – minus the Sundays – and viola, 40 days. (Only later did I learn that the United Methodist Book of Worship also states that Lent is a 40-day journey that does not include Sundays.)

Then I began to wonder why Jesus fasted for 40 days? And what is it about 40 in Scripture, because it appears in other ‘famous’ places in scripture, too.

As I studied I came to learn that 40 is a significant number in scripture when numbering days or years, and I believe it usually signifies a time when God is going to act in a significant way for the salvation of the world. I invent my own words at times by combining different words together. One of them is “God-mazing,” and it means an amazing thing that God has done. So for me, 40 usually means something God-mazing is about to happen.

Here are some examples:

Noah – 40 days: Re-starting Creation

Spying out Cana – 40 days: Israel becoming a people with Land

Goliath challenges Israel – 40 days: previews David who preludes a Messianic King

Ninevah’s destruction/restoration – 40 days: Grace available to all

Jesus fasts – 40 days: Jesus’ life, death and resurrection as a fulfillment of restoration.

Jesus’ time with the disciples post-resurrection before the ascension – 40 days: the CHURCH!

Fasting at Lent does mean that we give up something for a time. However, Courtney likes to say that our focus in Lent should not rest solely in what we are fasting FROM, rather we should focus on what we are fasting FOR. What will we do to fill the absence of chocolate, coffee, t.v., or internet? I like Lent – it helps me to countdown to Easter, but I often wonder if I fail at Lent as I try to reinvent a Lenten discipline each year that will ‘work’ for me. Lent, at times for me, has looked like fasting from coffee with a general sense “to pray more,” yet without a real focus. Yet Jesus has modeled prayer for us in the Lord’s Prayer. Granted we may pray it by rote or on auto-pilot at times, but it can also be an amazing prayer of transformation for our lives.

What does it mean when we pray “Thy Kingdom Come and Thy Will Be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven?” And what does it have to do with Lent and Plowshares and Pruning Hooks?

Thy Kingdom Come is not a prayer saying, “Get me out of here.” Rather it is a prayer that acknowledges the World is upside down and only the Kingdom of God can right-side-up everything. We acknowledge that God is big enough to do something, and we also acknowledge that a way in which God has chosen to bring the Kingdom is through the Church – through people like you and me. An aspect of God’s Kingdom is Peace – Shalom. Shalom is larger than a cessation of violence, because it encompasses restoring Creation to right relationship with God and with one another.

Praying “Thy Will Be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven” opens us up to the opportunity to be incorporated into God’s bigger story. I love people watching. Have you ever seen people in the supermarket who appear to be off in their own little worlds? Well, usually all of us are on individual missions at the store. But I mean someone who is oblivious to other people around as he blocks the aisle with his cart. Or the person who stands in front of the items you need talking to herself about which mustard to buy, and you can’t find a way to interrupt her or get around her to get your mustard. Sometimes I feel that is how I am in God’s plan. I can become so fixated on my projects or situations in my life that I can forget to place my story into God’s larger story. Praying “thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” takes us out of control and allows us to be incorporated into something bigger – into God’s larger story. C.S. Lewis described prayer this way, “I don’t pray because I want to, but I pray because I have to. The need flows from me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.”

Lent is 40 days set aside for the reordering of our lives to God’s time and God’s way. A time in which our prayers could sound like, “God, work in me, transform me. Clear out and clean out the distractions. Prepare me for your move and to join in your work.”

Lent is also 40 days we set aside to pray specifically for something that is bigger than just our lives. My Lenten fast is from Coffee – not caffeine or warm breakfast beverages, but coffee. Yet my fast is for praying for peace – for “beating swords into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks and neither shall they learn war anymore.” I love coffee. I like it in the morning, the afternoon, and even after dinner sometimes. I enjoy it, and I don’t think there is a problem with that. But as I heard the news this past week I realized that I craved a cup of coffee more than I craved peace – not the generic greeting card kind of peace, but a real, tangible specific peace in this world – that people in Libya would stop being killed; that children in Cambodia would not be sold as sex slaves; that car bombs would stop causing carnage in markets; that churches would stop being burned and that our Christian brothers and sisters would not seek out their own revenge; that the domestic violence I hear out my window every week would end. I know that I need transformation when I seem to care more about a cup of coffee than about human lives.

Let me read Micah 4:1-4 again.

In days to come the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be raised up above the hills.
Peoples shall stream to it, and many nations shall come and say:
‘Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.’
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between many peoples, and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away;
they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning-hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more;
but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees, and no one shall make them afraid; for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.

I am amazed by these verses. They point towards a return to farming – a return to tending the Garden, which is what God created us for in the first place. Swords and spears are not put away (for use on another day) or destroyed (as in thrown away). Instead, they are re-ordered and reincorporated into God’s redemption story. Those things which were intended for destructive purposes are given opportunities to take part in nurturing and cultivating life. AND if God can do that with an object, then how much more does God desire to do that with humans. Those whose lives destroy are not beyond God’s kingdom vision of grace and restoration. One of my colleagues in Afghanistan in 2002 had spent a significant amount of time in Congo (DRC and Brazaville) and Angola in the ‘90s. She said that when she asked people about peace they responded that peace meant harvesting what they planted – to live in the same place long enough for a complete growing season without having to flee because of violence or forced migration.

This may sounds dreamy – too good to be true, especially in our world today. It may seem like a hope for another time. The World tells us that war and violence, although evil, is a necessary evil in our world, because “that’s just how the world works.” Yes, that is how the world works. But that is not how God’s Kingdom works. And God’s kingdom is not just pie in the sky and ‘one day’… but God’s Kingdom is Now! And praying for peace helps transform us so that we can see how we might join in God’s holy work of healing the world.

Channel 6, 8, 13, the BBC, New York Times, Portland Herald, Boston Globe… They tell the world’s story. And at times it may seem like we are trying to fit the story of our lives into their worldview, rather than seeing that another story exists that can give meaning to our stories – here’s the God-mazing story briefly: God has been working for the restoration of Creation since Eden. God chose Israel to proclaim the hope and prepare the way for the restoration. God fulfilled Israel’s longing and made final provision for this restoration through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. God has commissioned the Church, the Body of Christ in this World, and empowered it by the Holy Spirit to proclaim to the World this message of God’s love, hope, healing, reconciliation, restoration and peace.

Joining in this story is something that we must do together – as the Church – by God’s power and with God’s help. Jesus taught the disciples to pray “Thy Kingdom Come,” and not “bring us up to thy kingdom.” We do not pray to be swirled away to a different place where peace exists. Rather, we pray that God’s peace will come to this world…now. We pray that families won’t be blown apart – literally – by violence. When we pray, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven,” we are praying that our lives will be incorporated into the bigger storyline of the God-mazing story of restoration of Creation.

It is a lot to get our heads around.

It is a lot to get our hearts around.

It is a lot to get our lives around.

But maybe that is just the point. It is not our task to envelope completely with our understanding God, God’s Kingdom, and the love of God as revealed in Jesus Christ. We pray in order to be enveloped by God and his love revealed in Jesus Christ: that God would shape our lives like the potter shapes the clay; that God would transform our imaginations enabling us to live as peacemakers in a world that thinks war is necessary; that God would work in us enabling us to pray that people would beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; that God would transform our minds to see the possibilities of how swords can be plowshares and spears can be pruning hooks and how we could learn to garden – how to cultivate the love of God and neighbor instead of learning violence and war…

This year I hope Lent is different for me as I pray “swords into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks.” I do not merely want to learn to survive without coffee. I want to be transformed to crave other people’s peace.

What about you? How are you preparing to step into a God-mazing story that can transform your life and change the world?

Inspiration for Articulation of My Journey

2011-03-08T15:20:00.005-05:00

I picked up a new book (at least for me) a few weeks ago. It's entitled, "Hannah's Child: A Theologian's Memoir," and it is the memoir of a professor I had at Duke. I have found inspiration in it for two reasons. First, Frederick Buechner has instilled in me a love for well written memoirs. Second, I can hear Stanley Hauerwas' nasally-Texas accent as I read the book. In reading, though, I have found inspiration to write and articulate part of my journey. As I read I find myself wondering how I would describe various times of my life - or certain aspects of my journey - and find a flood of faces and names come to mind.

Coincidentally, about a week before I picked up the book, I undertook the exercise of writing a statement of faith and also a *brief* testimony. As I wrote I found that I wanted to keep writing, yet I think it was good for me to try to limit them in length. I know that I wanted to expand each paragraph into a page... maybe someday I will. For now, though, I wanted to place here the distilled Statement of Faith and an abbreviated testimony.

Statement of Faith

I affirm the Apostles’ and Nicene Creeds.

I believe God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – is good, loving, faithful, and true.

I believe God desires for all of Creation to know and to live in God’s love. Humanity, however, chose its own way and sinned, causing a rupture in Creation’s perfect relationship with God. The Good News is that God has been working for the restoration of Creation since Eden. God chose Israel to proclaim the hope and prepare the way for the restoration. God fulfilled Israel’s longing and made final provision for this restoration through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. God has commissioned the Church, the Body of Christ in this World, and empowered it by the Holy Spirit to proclaim to the World this message of God’s love, hope, healing, reconciliation, restoration and peace.

I believe God has given the Church everything necessary to live authentically in this World because He has given himself for us in Jesus Christ. Christians, therefore, are to reflect the love of God as revealed in Jesus Christ by living in alternative ways to what the World only offers as imitations of God’s love. Christians practice these alternative ways of living in worship as we: gather together; confess our sin; receive forgiveness; reconcile and offer signs of peace; engage Scripture; baptize and reaffirm our faith; pray for one another and for our world; offer our gifts; celebrate communion and share a meal; and remember that we go into the World as God’s people with God’s blessing, strength, and love.

Testimony

Experiences of God in education, in worship, and in ministry in this world have shaped me on my faith journey. Sharing life together with Christians from various cultures has helped me to see the miracle of the Gospel as it simultaneously transcends all cultures and peoples while remaining specific to each culture and individual.

My parents began taking my brother and me to church in Colorado when I was four years old, which is when they began their relationships with God in Jesus Christ. I enjoyed going to church as a child, and I raised my hand to accept Jesus as savior multiple times between the ages of 5 and 12. In Jr. High I began to notice a dissonance between Sunday life and school life. I was not a bad kid – meaning that I did not smoke, drink or cuss – yet I did not love the neighbor, the stranger, or the outcast very well. My youth pastor and other volunteers challenged and encouraged me to live into the faith that I claimed. I did not want to be a hypocrite. I wanted my relationship with God in Jesus to make a tangible difference in my life. In high school I tried to live perfectly as a Christian. In this striving for perfection, and often falling hard, I began to learn more about God’s love and grace – a journey that continues today. I had some wonderful “mountain top” experiences in high school, yet I came to realize that the Christian life consisted of more than one-time events. Rather, the Christian life is an everyday decision on an everyday journey.

I attended Seattle Pacific University following a general call into ecclesial ministry thinking I would return to Colorado to do youth ministry full-time. At SPU my horizons for vocational ministry possibilities grew as I started getting involved in opportunities to serve on campus and in the community. God used these opportunities and an increasing awareness of the world – in all of its complexities, interconnections, and heartache – to continue to shape and also expand my call in ministry to include an international element.

A growing appreciation of the Christian tradition has also formed my faith in significant ways. I spent the summer after my first year of university volunteering with the church in Ireland, and I had my eyes and heart opened to the long, faithful tradition of Christianity. One day a friend took me to monastery ruins in Glendalough, which I learned once functioned as a significant place of worship and education. While I stood among the ruins of a church that served as the full-time cathedral from the 6^th to the 13^th Century, I felt part of a story larger and more significant than I had ever imagined. I realized that the Church did not go underground at the end of the book of Acts and reemerge when the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth. Rather, a long line of faithful followers had passed on a faith that transcends all cultures and times.

At Duke I grew in my understanding of the importance of worship, the sacraments, and the Church as the Body of Christ. Duke also helped me to articulate a view of church that held God in Christ at the center of worship, providing a gathering point for the community and a catalyst for the Body of Christ to engage the world.

The story of my journey would not be complete without naming some authors who have helped to shape me and continue as points of encouragement, challenge, and inspiration to me: Frederick Beuchner; Ellen Davis; Stanley Hauerwas; Richard Hays; James Howell; Madelaine L’Engle; Anne LaMott; C.S. Lewis; Richard Lischer; Brennan Manning; Henri Nouwen; Eugene Peterson; Chaim Potok, Barbara Brown Taylor; J.R.R. Tolkien; and Samuel Wells.

Musically I would have to name: Suzanne Brewer, Delirious, Dryve, Fred Gramman, Keith Green, David Nevue, Andrew Peterson, Matt Redman, Ten Shekel Shirt, TenTimesFast, Waterdeep, Charles Wesley, Dar Williams, Samuel Wolcott, U2, and, well, the list could go on and on.

God has provided me with amazing opportunities on my journey to live in cultural and social settings beyond my own. When I started the journey, I did not know that I would serve in churches, war zones, and relief settings across the U.S., Europe, East Africa, Latin America, Middle East, and Central Asia. With each place I serve, the desire increases to serve the global Body of Christ and help Christians to live their faith authentically within their culture. In each place, the Holy Spirit unites us and empowers us to proclaim the Kingdom that is both now and not yet, as we live as emissaries for Christ the King now while we wait for His triumphant return in final victory.

To list all of the friends, professors, and other mentors who have allowed me to be a part of their journey would take volumes, and I think, goes beyond the current context of writing.

My life as a Christian only makes sense when located within the larger story of salvation history. Countless friends have joined with me, and have allowed me to join them, in prayer, encouragement, challenge, inspiration, joyfulness, and mourning. Together, we journey in God’s love in Christ. Our lives are not an isolated moment in time, rather our lives fall in line with God’s sweeping trajectory of Creation and redemption which has a history before us and will have a future after us. God knows us intimately – our potential for greatness and our propensity for failure – and God still loves us. And by grace, God invites us to join in His holy work of healing the World.

Catching up in Quebec

2011-03-08T08:03:00.000-05:00

We had a chance to spend two days with a college roommate of Dan's and his family. Sam and Dawn currently live in Quebec with their three kids as the family learns French. They plan to live in Congo (DRC) and fly with an organization called MAF.
We had a fun time tubing, eating, laughing and watching the three oldest ones run around. Our Caleb and their Charlie sat and stared at each other.
The photos try to capture a bit of our time.

A Sermon on Missions

2011-02-10T14:30:00.001-05:00

I (Dan) preached at Exeter UMC in Exeter, NH a couple of weeks ago, and I thought I would post that sermon to the blog...so, here it is:

Missions, simply put, is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God.
Proclaiming the Kingdom is bringing the light of the life of Christ – of hope, of joy, of peace, of grace, of forgiveness (for yourself and for others)…
Sadly, missions has been seen in negative light at times. Some missionaries and some mission agencies have been viewed as paternalistic or imperialistic, which is basically the world’s way of proclaiming kingdom The World proclaims kingdoms in conquest – by taking and forced submission of others. Yet Jesus proclaims Kingdom in giving – hope, light, … life!
Missions is proclaiming the Kingdom – not in conquest, but in healing, love, and spiritual restoration and formation.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God. The Good News is that God has been working for restoration of creation since Eden.
God chose Israel to proclaim the hope and prepare the way for the restoration. God made provision for this restoration through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. God has commissioned the Church – the Body of Christ in this World – Christians – to proclaim this message of hope, healing, reconciliation, restoration and peace.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and missions is not the job of one person or a handful of select individuals. Each of us is called to proclaim the Kingdom. All of us are called to mission. I want to look at how Jesus calls the fishermen as ways in which Jesus calls each of us into missions.

You may think, “I don’t know anything about missions.” But my questions for you are, “What do you know about being a friend? Do you know about listening, caring, loving, forgiving, challenging in love? Do you desire to see or bring health, justice, wholeness to this world – to bring Shalom to Creation? Do you ever watch the news, read the paper, drive by a homeless person and get a bit upset inside thinking, “something isn’t right – there must be a better way…?” If yes, then you know something about mission!

What did the fishermen know about the kingdom, about theology, about missions, about Jesus before they left their nets? In their minds ZILCH.
Jesus calls these fishermen and tells them that they will fish for people. They will use their skills, gifts, and trade for kingdom work.

The fishermen did not hold any position or have any power in the society in Jesus’ day. Caesar would not have called them to serve on his protective detail, and the Jewish leaders would not have chosen them to bring about revival and restoration among the people.

The fishermen were ordinary – like you and me. Obama or congress will not call any of us asking, “Will you fix our deficit… How does healthcare affect you… etc.?” Yet that is the wonder of God and God’s kingdom. God chooses each of us to follow Him and to proclaim the kingdom in our current setting and wherever tomorrow’s setting may be.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and missions happens everywhere because the Kingdom of God is open to everyone, everywhere.
We can do this in little ways everyday… How we talk to our kids, our spouse, our boss, the store clerk?
We may wonder why we are where we are – job, neighborhood, family, etc… - we may not always like it, appreciate it, or understand it, yet we have to remind ourselves, “Maybe I’m called to share and live life here…”
We don’t know who else God is using in the lives of those around us – we don’t always need to know. We live faithfully to proclaim the truth and hope we have, because Jesus has made a difference in our lives – because we have experienced God’s faithfulness and love.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and it is the role of each Christian.
You may have objections: “God can’t use me.” Or “God can’t use me like James or John or my pastor.” Maybe not, but James and John and your pastor don’t have the same relationships with people that you do. As we learn about the disciples we realize that they spanned the strata of society – to reach each person in every place.

In order to Proclaim the Kingdom we need to allow God to transform us by the renewing of our minds. We need to stop seeing the limitations of why we can’t serve and start seeing the possibilities of how we can serve.

The tasks within missions vary from person to person, because each person has a unique way to serve God and God’s kingdom. One may write the letter, one may pack the box of clothes, one may carry the box of clothes and deliver it, yet all are in mission together. It’s similar to a Nascar team. When I first heard of Nascar, I thought it was just the driver who was important. I had to learn that Nascar is bigger than the driver – and it’s not just the sponsors, either. You have wheel men and fuel men and guys who watch the computer to decide what tire to put on the next time the car stops in the pits – and you have the guy that holds the stop sign in the pits. All are important, because without just one of those people the driver won’t win.

We know from reading the Gospels that Jesus calls people from all walks of life to follow him. He didn’t tell all them to become fishers of men, but he calls all of them to “Repent” – to turn back to God and allow God to be first in all they do – so that as redeemed people they can serve the kingdom everywhere they go and in everything they do. Not all disciples went to all places, neither do all missionaries go to all places. Rather, each blooms where they are planted – and in some cases re-planted. Missions is the role of all Christians, with each of us serving where we feel God guiding our hearts to serve.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God.
Matthew says that Jesus taught in their synagogues and proclaimed the Good News of the Kingdom by healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness AMONG the people.
We know that we need God, and maybe that is why we are here in church. Yet all people including our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends, our family members, our teachers, our grocery clerks, the grandkids’ friends and their parents (the list goes on) all need to know God in a tangible way.

Missions is bringing stories of the doctor and sometimes the doctor herself/himself to those who are sick. Sometimes we can bring them back to the clinic, and sometimes we need to bring the clinic to them. Sometimes it means going down the street. Sometimes it means going around the world. And because we are family – a global body – we can serve around the world, even if we don’t “go”. We can pray, write a letter, or send a care package to a missionary. Sometimes it means providing food, lodging, encouragement, or other resources for those coming and going.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and that proclamation is Light into Darkness. In our words? Yes. In our works? YES!
Proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom can look like connecting to a missionary or a project in an area that fulfills a deep longing in your heart. You may say, “There is no orphanage in Exeter…” That’s okay, there are thousands around the world. Or you may say, “There is an orphanage in Exeter…” Great! Help them, and then find a missionary working with orphans and see if you can connect them with each other.

Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and I will make you a priest, a Sadducee, a tax-collector, a missionary, a deacon, a…” Jesus invited Peter, Andrew, James, and John into a journey with what they knew – with what they had. Jesus would teach, train, and equip them along the way. If Jesus told them on the shore of Galilee that morning, “Follow me, and I will make you speak before thousands, have you heal people, have you appear before government officials, and, ultimately, you may end up a martyr or in exile,” then they probably would have continued fishing or mending the nets. In order to get them on the journey of their lives, Jesus didn’t need to tell them every stop along the way. Rather, Jesus just needed them to take the first steps.

I didn’t know exactly how God wanted me to serve when I first followed my heart towards ministry. I had a general idea of youth ministry, but I wasn’t sure of specifics. At the time if you would have asked me to serve internationally I would have said that you were crazy. In college, though, I just started getting involved in opportunities to serve. One thing led to another, and these opportunities “primed the pump” of my heart so that when I felt God asking me to take that big step into international ministry it didn’t seem so daunting. I knew with God’s help that I could make it. I didn’t know that I would end up in war zones and relief settings, Eastern Europe or East Africa or Central America.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and missions is for everyone, because Jesus’ last words before he ascended were instructions to all of his followers: “Go and tell your family, neighborhood, community, and world that God loves them.”

Missions is for those whose lives have been transformed by God
to tell those who have not experienced God’s love
that God desires to redeem and love and restore Creation to the Shalom – the peace and love and joy – that God intended from the beginning of time.

As Christians we are children of the King – not just any old king, but the King of Creation, the King of the Land and the Sea, the King of the Universe.
As we heard in the children’s address, each of us is a prince or princess in the kingdom. Wherever we go or whatever we do, we represent God and God’s Kingdom.

Seems a tall order, no? Who am I to represent God? Who are we to represent the King of kings when we shy away from speaking about our faith and about why Jesus makes a difference in our lives. Who am I – who are we – to represent Jesus when I/we can’t seem to go an hour – let alone a day – without: messing up; putting our feet in our mouths; wishing our neighbors would move away; acting too rashly or not acting quickly enough; getting mad at our bosses or speaking behind co-workers’ backs… Who am I – who are we – to do missions?
That’s another way where this morning’s Gospel story provides hope. I’m going to assume that some of you have heard about Peter in other places in the Gospels. For those who haven’t heard of ‘foot-in-mouth, rash-action’ Peter, well, he seemed to be the one who always messed up. And yet Jesus chose him as one of the first disciples, and eventually placed him as the disciple in charge of all the others.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God, and it happens because of God’s Grace and Faithfulness.
Early on in my ministry I had an eye-opening experience that has helped me to understand missions, ministry, and life as a Christian. I was in Ireland serving as an Assistant Youth Pastor working with a phenomenal youth pastor. We sat having tea one morning after a weekend of events that seemed like a complete disaster – the program for the youth flopped; the sermon to the congregation never had a chance to crash because it couldn’t even take-off; I felt the responsibility for the youth who left youth club early to get drunk instead. I questioned my call to ministry. I doubted I could be used by God.

Ken, the pastor, looked over his cup of tea at me and said, “God’s kingdom comes because of our greatest successes…” He paused – in reality for about three seconds, yet in my mind long enough for me to say, “Yes, I know. Exactly! And that’s why I could never do ministry.” Ken continued, “and God’s kingdom comes in spite of our worst failures because God’s kingdom coming is dependent upon God.”
And God, in His grace, invites us into ministry. God knows who we are – our potential for greatness and our propensity for failure. God knows everything about us, and God still loves us and invites us to join in the proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom – God’s Holy Work of Healing the World.
Sometimes this means in our home, hometown, or current job, and sometimes it may mean going around town or across the globe. We may never know in advance where the journey will take us, but we can trust the one who leads us on the journey because God is Faithful.

Missions is proclaiming the Good News of the Kingdom of God. Jesus didn’t tell the disciples everywhere they would go, he just asked them to follow one step at a time. And that really is the way of the Kingdom – one step after another trusting God to guide our hearts to speak or remain silent; stay or move; or how to share our resources.

If you don’t feel God guiding your heart somewhere, then start where you are – in your home, work, neighborhood, or school. Write a letter or email to a missionary. Research an afterschool program or homeless ministry in town, or human trafficking issues around the world. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked. Help the poor. Visit the prisoner and those in nursing homes. Take care of the orphans and widows. Each of those could be a starting point on your journey – and once you take a step, and another, and another, then you will be amazed at how God will direct your Journey.

I do not know where God will lead me next. I do not know where God will lead you. Yet I do know that God will be faithful to lead us and to provide for us on our way. And, I know that God will be faithful to guide you – each of you – as you step out in faith to get involved in missions.

Alleluia. Amen.

Slacking off, but not slacking

2011-02-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

I realize that our posts have slacked off in the past few weeks, but that does not mean that we have been slacking.

Court diligently works at completing her written work towards full ordination. Only two weeks to go until they are complete... almost there, almost there... Her work on these papers are in addition to her weekly regime of sermon writing, worship leading, Bible study teaching, and preaching.

I have had a lot of scribbles towards blogs, yet none that have developed into promising thoughts. Sometimes I wish the images in my head could download directly into the blog.

I just spent a few days at a conference in North Carolina, and am preparing for a weekend of teaching and preaching in Rochester, NY.

I may post a sermon or two from these past few weeks in the coming days.

Well, that's all for now.

Some Thoughts on "Mission"

2011-01-12T20:42:00.001-05:00

A friend asked me to distill - into a sentence or two - why I go or feel compelled to serve around the world. Part of me wants to preface this with about 100 disclaimers, yet I will refrain.

"War, natural disaster, & tragedy - moments of extreme vulnerability - lead to opportunities to demonstrate God's extraordinary presence. On these occasions Christians can participate in God's Holy work of healing the world by BEING the Church - the Body of Christ - an actual, tangible encounter of Christ to those desperately in need of God's love, compassion, grace, and peace."

God's Blessing for You this New Year

2011-01-05T15:34:00.000-05:00

I shared these thoughts with some colleagues recently, and I wanted to post them here, too.

The past few weeks I have heard many people say things like “God Bless You” or “Have a blessed New Year” or similar. I confess that I have said this, too… And I would want to pray God’s blessing upon your 2011, yet before I do I would like to share with you some thoughts I had on the Aaronic Blessing (May the Lord bless you and keep you, May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto, may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.)
“May the Lord bless you and keep you…”
Bless you – give you everything that you need (even in exceeding abundance) to love God and to serve God fully.
Keep you – protect you in the way that Psalm 139 portrays: before and behind, above and below, a hand upon you so that you would know God’s presence in any and all situations and circumstances.

“May the Lord make his face to shine upon you…”
Does this phrase carry connotations of “feeling God’s pleasure” like the warming sun? (yet could this not also be said for the ‘countenance’ part later on, too?) I have read this phrase in the Psalms before, yet connected with it in a new way recently when I read “Shine your face upon us that we might be saved.” Psalm 80 uses this phrase multiple times. As I prayed recently and thought of this prayer for deliverance and salvation, the image that came to mind was from The Lord of the Rings – Gandalf returns on the third day to the stronghold overrun with enemies and shafts of light from the rising sun beam out from behind him as he crests the hill swooping down to deliver the people… a powerful image.

“and be gracious unto you…”
May God forgive, be patient, have mercy, be generous towards you. May you experience in God the generous hospitality demonstrated by Abraham to the three strangers and by the father to the prodigal son.

“May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you…”
In times past I have seen this in different ways. At times, the scriptural image comes to mind of God singing over his children with songs of deliverance and songs of delight…songs of God’s love for us. At other times the image I have is of Eric Liddel in Chariots of Fire – “And when I run, I feel God’s pleasure!” It is a picture of God smiling toward us. Wow.
Recently, though, the image I have is that of a King welcoming a subject into his presence. I thought of Esther approaching the king, yet the king needing to lift his scepter in order to approve and welcome her into his throne room. As God’s children we can approach God, and God will allow us to approach. Further imagery comes from Hebrews: “Seeing as we have a great high priest, then let us boldly approach the throne of Grace…”

“and give you peace,” or a better translation “and set upon you shalom.”
When I lived in Israel I studied parts of this prayer in Hebrew, and I feel like I gained a broader picture than most translations offer. The verb translated ‘give’ actually has connotations of ‘set upon’ like when Elijah sets his mantel upon Elisha – a heavy, weighty, impactful, noticeable placement. This is more than a “have a nice day” well wishing. This is a prayer of blessing that asks God to set upon us Holistic Peace that will forever after change the way we live in this world.

So, as you enter into 2011,
May the Lord Bless you and Keep you,
May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you,
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And set upon you Shalom. Amen!

Salt – Reflections on brokenness, restoration, and this past year

2010-12-30T20:24:00.003-05:00

[I journaled most of these thoughts on a plane after a campus ministers’ retreat, called “Refresh ‘10”, in Kansas City the second full week of December.]

“You put salt on our lips that we might thirst for you…” This quote/paraphrase caught my attention last night when the closing speaker, Pete Greig, mentioned it. He attributed it to St. Augustine, and then he added, “and sometimes the salt may come from our own tears. “

But the tears for me haven’t come for some time. Beautiful moments, prayerful moments, enraging moments, surprising moments have happened, and I can tell part of my body want to respond with tears, yet nothing comes. [Heal me, Lord.]

Rewind a few days: The image brought to mind after the conference’s first morning devotion was of water pouring on dry, cracked ground. The water seeped in, yet the ground was so dry that the cracks didn’t go away… A dry and thirsty land. I had this same image of a dry and thirsty land the following morning, too, and of water spilling forth over the cracks, seeping in, providing momentary relief for a land in drought. Maybe Prayer can be these moments of watering – moments of grace for a drought weary soul. [Lord, help me.]

A cup of salt sat on each table as the last session began. We poured some in our hands and put our hands to our lips. Then we prayed…
As I prayed, thoughts – words and images, moving and still – flashed and faded. Each wrestled for prominence although each has valid space in my heart/life right now. I scrawled the words across the page in an attempt to give each image the voice it wanted to have.
SALT…
Causes THIRST

Helps preserve

Brings out and enhances flavor

SHRIVELS slugs

apathy lethargy

… over-sweetened, comfortable lives need some saltiness…

… prevents the car from slipping, yet stains it in the process…

I pictured my heart shrinking and shriveling like the salted slug as I saw the apathetic and lethargic moments of the past year with clarity and shame. It’s not all the time, and it’s not in all things. There are moments of life and energy that spring forth, yet they are quickly absorbed by the dry, cracked soil of my soul – the broken ground of my heart. It may not show on the outside, yet the inside is crying out for refreshment! Yes, healing and restoration began taking place at debriefing in Michigan in March after two painful years of deployment… we miss the people, but we don’t miss the circumstances… yet healing is a PROCESS and it needs to continue.

We know – I know – God called us out and moved us on, yet I still wrestle with why. Was it for preservation of my life / our lives – hearts, souls, minds, and strengths, and for preservation of our marriage, and for preservation of our calls to ministry (rather than burning out, breaking down emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically)? OR did God call us out because I could no longer love well – serve in love, forgive in love, lead in love… ? Was it my failure to love well that caused our departure?

Was it self-preservation – God caring for us as individuals, as children… OR was it Kingdom-preservation – God caring for God’s kingdom and not wanting that defamed any more than it already is?

I feel that somehow it was a combination of both.

The speaker on Thursday night reminded us of John Wesley’s journey – successful in some mission endeavors, yet a failure in others (e.g. Georgia) to the point of questioning vocation. (and I don’t view our time as extreme as Wesley.)

However, God did not give up on him.
And God will not give up on me,
God will not give up on us,
God will not give up on the Church,
God will not give up on the world!

My heart and soul may feel shriveled like a slug…
BUT God can refresh and revive,
God can Restore and Redeem,
God can Resurrect!

The dry cracked ground takes time to restore. Too much rain or irrigation at once will cause a flood as the ground cannot absorb the vast amounts of water. And then it will take time for the flood waters to recede. Too much rain or irrigation trades one calamity for another.

A slow coaxing – a little rain – a slow irrigation will restore the land without a flood disaster.

While my soul wants the downpour, God knows that my souls does not need a flood.

A starving person may want a buffet, yet the stomach needs to start with small amounts slowly.

A dehydrated person guzzling gallons will only wretch it up, yet a slow intake in small amounts will restore.

Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the Universe,
Who restores the dry parched land,
Who fills our cups to overflowing (abundance and enough) not overflooding,
Who says, “Open wide your mouth, and I will fill it.”

Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the Universe,
Who gives Your children every good thing,
Who provides for all of our needs,
Who gives manna each day (rather than 40-years supply of food at once that we have to carry around).

In this next season of journey I need to open myself up to the small ways that God wants to irrigate my soul – to restore my life. It’s strange, when in drought one can become accustomed to scarcity. In fact, so much so that even when conditions change scarcity can remain the heart-set and mindset – scarcity can become the default mode… This results in one turning down moments of filling, refreshing and relief – for even though the ground can handle the downpour, the default mode of scarcity causes fear of flooding… Why trade a calamity with which one can cope for one that presents more unknowns?

Hosanna – Help me, save me. Alleluia.

Thoughts from "a university student who follows Jesus"

2010-12-17T12:44:00.001-05:00

I came across this at the conference I just attended in Kansas City, and I wanted to share it with you. We actually saw it in a powerful video form, yet I couldn't find that at midnight last night - I could only find the text from a blog site, so here you go:

from our friends with Campus America:

I am a university student who follows Jesus.

I've been formally trained to think critically. My view of the world is scarred with cynicism and skeptical interpretation. Rarely is it acceptable that I feel anything. If I do, I am encouraged to rationalize it away.

I continually face critical thinkers (like myself) who question the Christian subculture I come from. I try to imagine a counter-cultural movement like I read about in Acts but I'm stuck in the tread of a divide between the sacred and the secular of this world.

On a regular basis I encounter situations where the name of Christ is being defamed by Christians who have forgotten the centrality of His love. Where sins are ordered in a hierarchy. Where people must pray through a checklist before being welcomed into the family. Where people themselves are sidelined for the sake of the sins that precede them.

I know that the world will change only as I change myself, but everyone else seems focused on themselves. I'm torn between changing individuals and changing institutions. History class laughs at the meta-narrative that defines my existence. Science tells me that mystery is my enemy and faith is its poison. My learning is split into departments. So goes my religion.

I'm a university student who follows Jesus.

I have wept over abortion and I have grieved the breakdown of the family unit. I have also wept and grieved over Christianity's fear-filled reaction to both.

In fact, I often feel boxed in by the stigma attached to words like "church" and "Christian." I tend not to speak up for the possibility of being misinterpreted.

I have awkward conversations with strangers who seem to be in need, but sometimes it feels like I do so more out of desire to feel better about myself than out of genuine care.

My prayers collide somewhere between "help me pass this test / help my suicidal classmate / please have mercy on the AIDS epidemic." I'm never sure what order they should be prayed in.

I try tirelessly to see that my schooling doesn't interfere with my education. I have skipped a test to be with Jesus and I have skipped time with Jesus to study for a test. I wonder afterward if I've failed some sort of test with God.

I have known a lot of hope deferred and a few longings fulfilled. I watch my peers poke holes in any hope without offering any hope in return. Seems like cheap self-defense, but I find myself doing the same.

I'm constantly dividing between the voices in my head. Discerning what is conviction, what is accusation, and what is simply empty tradition in my exhausted conscience. I feel compassion in the depths of my soul, but I have learned to quiet it in order to keep my head above water.

Sometimes I sense that God is leading me to obey Him in an act that seems crazy to me. With all the voices clamoring for my attention it's hard to tell who's talking, so I've gotten good at just talking it away.

I'm a university student who follows Jesus.

I'm on a technology overload. Inundated with information that is inapplicable to the vast majority of my life. I check my Facebook profile 22 times a day with the hopes of a red button notifying me of my importance to someone. Most times there isn't a response to my status update and my status diminishes a few notches in response.

I've had trouble making new friends because I'm busy keeping up with old acquaintances through a computer monitor.

I like the Word of God but I love the summary form Wikipedia gives me of its contents. I repeatedly have to remind myself that the Bible isn't another textbook to resell at semester's end at a tenth of my purchase price.

My life has a continual soundtrack provided by wires that connect to my ears and straight-arm the annoyance of other peoples' existence… "other peoples' existence"… sooo annoying.

Silence both scares and bores me tremendously, making it seriously difficult to be still and know much of anything. The natural world has all but disappeared from my daily activities. My feet are far more familiar with concrete than grass. My hands know well the texture of my keyboard and the smoothness of my cell phone, but there is no dirt beneath my tooth-trimmed fingernails.

I speak 17 different dialects of the English language: homegrown simplicity, calculated indie-rock, charismatic Christian, academic hyperbole, post-modern pessimist, etc…

I second-guess what I'm majoring in every second day and I can't fathom holding down one job for more than one year.

I eat food like my body is a temple of convenience. Making coffee takes too much time out of my incredibly important day so I stand in line for 5 minutes to buy a $5 cup.

I'm a university student who follows Jesus.

I'm somewhere in between child and adult. I've lost the innocence of my youth but I've yet to achieve the wisdom of my age. The tension feels awkward and emphasizes my temporary existence.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm still tremendously reliable on my parents. They give me money they would never spend on themselves without blinking an eye. I question if I'll ever be able to do the same for my kids. My school loans are more than my parents paid for the house I grew up in.

I may not have the cash, but swiping the card doesn't really hurt anyone, and I've got it down to an art. I will buy a drink when I'm out with my friends. I'm not sure I actually like the taste of alcohol, but I've learned that if I drink a beer people won't think I'm such a stiff. There have definitely been times I have had too much. Both drinks and affection.

I buy new clothes that look old so I can maintain the appearance of "used and uncaring."

I have often laughed and nodded at common knowledge I think I probably should know by now but don't.

The world still appears wide open, sometimes even intimidating. But more often I anticipate its narrowing and the possibility that I would remain little more than potential.

I'm a university student who follows Jesus.

Returning always to questions of who God is and who I am, usually in the wrong order. I have friends but I often feel lonely. I am habitually watching others watch me. Am I essential to anyone?

I try not to look in the mirror too long when I'm alone, mostly so I can convince myself that I'm not self-obsessive.

I do the things I hate then try not to hate myself for doing them. I'm trying to figure out who I am while trying to die to myself.

People have thanked me for being authentic when I have openly confessed my weaknesses. Sometime I just want them to challenge my pride instead.

Everything feels urgent and rushed, and I'm trying to learn how to rest in the midst of the chaos. To be defined less by the number of things I accomplish in a day and more by the grounding reality that I am unfailingly loved. Not easy.

Many days it feels I'm just beginning to know God even though we've been getting to know each other for some time. I tend to think He has reliable tendencies, but I'm never quite completely confident that I know how He will respond. Some days not knowing makes it exciting; other times it brings disillusionment and I feel embarrassed on His behalf. As if He needed me to.

I'm trying to make friends with people who don't know Jesus. Remember, that's why I have a beer, insert a "swear word" from time to time, and reference U2 in conversation.

I remember something of the religious foundations of my college, but question why today religion is at most tolerated on the periphery of my curriculum. What foundation is all this academia built upon?

I'm a university student who follows Jesus.

I want to love God with my entire mind. To stand empowered in my intellect without being run over by intellectualism, losing my heart in its stead.

I welcome the challenge of my faith. I think a healthy argument can be more respectful than offensive. Seeing people who walk with a limp having wrestled with God makes them a bit more trustworthy to me. But I dread the possibility of a life with a divided heart. I crave resolve and I rarely have it.

I'm haunted by the question of tolerance v acceptance. Absolute v relevant truth.

Perhaps what I fear most is having a form of godliness that has no actual power.

Some days I have glimpses of the changing cultural norm, and it disturbs me deeply. What kind of world will my kids grow up in? The thought suddenly cuts off as I realize I missed the last 4 minutes of notes in class. I'm still trying to grow up in my own world.

I recall a young leader named Joshua who conquered enemy "-ites" to the tune of strength and courage. His "-ites" are the "-isms" of my modern day. Worlds of thought and heralded ideas that promote the self and eliminate any life outside of "me."

Be strong, daughter. Be courageous, son. No longer will the stories of our fathers suffice.

I am longing for Kingdom come. Laboring for it to break in now. Looking for the places it is already established. Wondering if they all collide in each moment of my every day life.

I am a university student who follows Jesus.

Thoughts from a Bus Ride through NYC

2010-12-08T15:34:00.002-05:00

Late leaves on the trees dance joyfully as they still cling to the tree (or maybe the dance defiantly against the onset of winter) - maybe more amazing is how they keep time with the music from the headphones next to me...

A billboard with John Travolta boasts a $2000 watch as it hovers above a street corner piled high with garbage waiting for the trash collectors to come. Ironic how we pay millions of dollars to people who entertain us yet pittance to those in the industries that provide basic services we take for granted...

Interesting that a street hot dog vendor has his cart on the same side of the street as the animal control 'Spay and Neuter' mobile unit…

Thanksgiving in America and BFD

2010-12-01T20:02:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Thanksgiving in America for the first time in 4 years. While some things seemed normal, some things took me by surprise.

We drove to my uncle's house at which 4 of my 5 cousins were there with their families. We ate the quintessential turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. Although with two kids, we found that we did not overstuff ourselves as we kept tabs on them between bites.
We enjoyed meeting some new 2nd cousins and introducing Ceara and Caleb to everyone, too.

I enjoyed watching Thanksgiving football for the first time in 4 years.

Yet I came across a new term, which surprised me: "Black Friday." Now I had always heard of the term used in ways to denote something negative. Yet my cunning intellect reasoned from the bombardment of advertisements that it meant the day after Thanksgiving. I looked on Wikipedia to find the origin of its use in this context - because obviously retailers intend it positively. I saw an RV parked outside a Kohl's in preparation for a 3am opening. People across the country lined up the day before (on Thanksgiving Day!) to ensure their chances of getting a good deal...

I was astounded and appalled by the degradation of Thanksgiving from a time to remember what we have (which may not be 'things') and give thanks for them to a time set aside to acquire more stuff, more things, more... Maybe I notice it more acutely now because I haven't experienced this insanity for the past few years. Maybe the term "Black Friday" should still have a negative implication?

I know, I know - Thanksgiving... A lot of time well spent catching up with family - I should write about that rather than writing about Black Friday Deals. Ironic this acronym is BFD... I wonder what would happen if "we the people" stood up to our overconsuming culture and said, "BFD to BFD." If we took more time to be thankful for what we have instead of plotting how to get more. If we took all the time, energy, resources, and passion exerted in shopping and, instead, used it to reconcile broken and hurting relationships in our lives or reaching out to those we know have brokenness... God help us - seriously.

I am out of practice at writing. I struggle to articulate a complete thought. I have noticed it effecting my spoken word as well. I find myself gesturing with hands, lips, and eyebrows to finish many sentences. I guess this another attempt in the 'just keep writing' vein.

fun video clips of Ceara and Caleb

2010-11-23T19:13:00.004-05:00

click on the links below to watch some cute, short videos of our kids.

Ceara pushing Caleb in the Bumbo

Ceara dancing at daycare

Caleb "talking"

Whirlwind Weekend

2010-11-15T18:43:00.001-05:00

I know I missed writing last week - I thought about it everyday. I didn't want it to happen two weeks in a row, so I thought I would try to recap the weekend while I wait for my out of Pittsburgh.

Friday I had the tremendous opportunity to hang out with a bunch of college students from various colleges and universities across West Virginia. The weekend had the theme of "Spiritual Disciplines", and they asked me to share about the link between missions and spiritual disciplines. (I stumbled through that on Saturday morning.) Beyond this, though, I enjoyed having time to talk with and listen to these students navigate their faith journeys in this world. I'm thankful the students invited me and the campus ministers allowed me this opportunity.

Saturday as I drove from one college retreat to my next engagement I had the opportunity to reconnect with some friends I haven't talked to in a while. That time served to fill my soul for a bit.

On Sunday I had the opportunity to preach at Trinity UMC in Scotsdale, PA. What a lovely congregation. Nervous though I was before the sermon, stepping into the pulpit felt like slipping on a pair of well-worn, comfortable jeans. So thankful for that time.
After church a lady in the congregation took her 90 year-old Aunt Jenny and me to hear the symphony in Pittsburgh - something invigorating and inspiring about live music...

Today I had shared at two different churches about an hour apart about joining and partnering with people in mission around the world. Each presentation took a different shape with the stories shared and the approach to partnering in mission.

This weekend reaffirmed my call to share, teach, preach, work with young adults, and work in the global community.

Well, we're getting ready to board, so that's all for now.

Back in the Saddle Again

2010-11-03T15:33:00.002-04:00

This past Sunday Courtney gave me the opportunity to preach at her congregation. An opportunity for which I am truly grateful. I have not preached in church for over a year, and I missed it.

I had trouble sleeping on Saturday night...

On Sunday it felt like I was back doing what I was created to do. Woohoo! The song that comes to mind is: "I'm back in the saddle, again..."

I'm thankful for God's inspiration and strength and insight,and for this opportunity.

I look forward to the next opportunity in two weeks in Western PA, and then hopefully here in Saco in the not too distant future.

In other news, Court's parents arrived last night and will be here for the next week. We're going to try to make a fresh lobster lasagna. mmmm. Then my Aunt will come for a week. Maybe we'll try to make lobster ravioli with her.

well, that's all for this week.

Learning to See - again

2010-10-27T18:46:00.001-04:00

I'm on a train heading back to Maine. I spent the last few days in New York City for some meetings on missions with my organization. I'm tired, yet hopeful and inspired.

Traveling has a way of helping me to see things from fresh perspectives...

Court has invited me to preach this Sunday at her church, and maybe because of the stories in Luke dealing with blindness and sight I'm more open to possibilities and thoughts on "seeing" and "sight".

My roommate in New York told me an encounter he had upon arriving. The Subway in NYC had maintenance work occurring over the weekend - which altered the service of some of the lines. He got turned around and, finally, asked for directions of a Subway official. As he headed back to the platform a blind lady stopped him, "Excuse me, from where did you come and where do you want to go?" He told her. She replied, "Well the directions that man just gave you are wrong. What you want to do is..." and she proceeded to tell him the best route. She ended with "I can't believe you didn't see the signs at Penn Station - they're everywhere."
We had a good laugh about that last point - and it had me thinking about we who can "see" don't really "see" at times.

The other story happened to me in Boston on the way down to New York. I had a 2 hour layover between trains and decided to grab coffee and try to write for a bit.
I sat at a table with my journal open, sipping coffee, and people watching. An auburn hair, freckled man set his things down at a neighboring table and proceeded to tally receipts speaking to himself in French and English. After he finished, he packed his bag, turned towards me looking intently, "And you, you have a VERY good week, sir." I paused and asked him if his accent came from Southern France. We chatted briefly, and as he left I said a casual, "Have a good day..." Yet this stood in stark contrast to his intentional parting comment a few minutes before, and I suddenly saw something that I had lost over time. He spoke his words almost as a benediction while I spoke with casual, American, friendly indifference. In every encounter I have an opportunity to speak a word of blessing into and over someone's life, and my eyes had grown blind. When did these cataracts of indifference occur? I don't know - maybe they form when I'm preoccupied or think I don't have time and rush by people. Maybe they form when I don't actively exercise the ability to pronounce blessing.

While in NY we had an opportunity to tour part of the 19-story (I think) building which houses my organization and many faith-based organizations. It's amazing how an elevator ride can grant a different perspective on NYC - which is the photo I have attached.

Well, that's the stream of consciousness for this week.

May you have a VERY good week, and may you know hope and joy in ever deeper ways.

The "Jesus Loves You" Project - again

2010-10-21T11:28:00.005-04:00

The other day I realized that I needed to restart the "Jesus Loves You" project. Honestly (and disappointingly), I can't remember when I stopped the project.

However, the other day as I walked around Biddeford it dawned on me that I had not pursued this project much at all lately.

What is the Project? Well, to begin I have re-posted(and revised a bit)thoughts from a blog entitled "The 'Jesus Loves You' Experiment" (24.March.2009) followed by some other thoughts.
***
The "Jesus Loves You" Experiment
"Jesus Loves You." Frederick Buechner tells a story in one of his sermons in which he hears this phrase directed at him as he walks through Central Park in New York one Spring day. He says that it catches him by surprise and it takes him a few seconds to realize what just happened, yet as he stops he finds that she has mingled into anonymity in the mass of pedestrians.

I read this sermon about five months ago, and this story confronted me, challenged me, and would not leave me alone. I have re-read it few times. I decided to try an experiment, and it has made a difference in my life. I don't feel nearly as bold as the woman in Central Park to speak these words aloud to those I pass on the street. However, as I walk down the street - or wait in line at the store - or people watch at the bus station, I look at each person and in my head say, "Jesus loves you!" This completely changes the way I see people. I say it in Latvian, and I need to learn the Russian - it helps me "contextualize" the situation. (When we were in Rome I tried to say it in Italian.) It challenges my inclination to judge or take offense or gawk or avert my gaze. It reminds me that God truly loves each and every person - the crippled beggar; the arrogant mafioso; the girl too young to have lost her innocence; "Jesus loves you!" - the important business person; the despondent store clerk; the toddler amazed by falling snow and his mother who needed a few drinks to cope with single-parenthood; "Jesus loves you!" - the bitter man too beat down to be amazed by anything at all; the young couple laughing as they walk arm and arm; the other couple whose yelling leads to blows; "Jesus loves you!"- the men from other countries here on "woman trips"; the young women who go after those men; the driver who cut me off in traffic; "Jesus love you!" - the ...

Sometimes this phrase leads to giving a loaf of bread or placing a coin in a palm or praying for a person throughout the day. Hopefully this can lead to the courage of the Central Park woman, for it is not enough for me to see people as loved by God, because they need to know it, too.

This experiment has me thinking of another experiment along similar lines to carry out simultaneously - the "I forgive you" experiment...

As you go through the rest of your day today, May you know in a tangible way that God loves you and that God's love is for everyone around you.
***

Biddeford and Riga may seem worlds apart, yet many things are still the same. People deal with hopelessness, exhaustion, domestic violence, crime, addictions, broken dreams, disappointment, failing health, aging parents, 'bad' things happening to 'good' people...

Although these manifest themselves in different ways in different communities, they happen all over the world. The same world in which we CAN make a difference by taking small steps everyday to be peace, to give hope, and to love those around us.

During the last few minutes of writing I have become distracted and struggle to string words together to make coherent sentences, so that is all for now.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

2010-10-18T13:16:00.002-04:00

The other day in Court's sermon she mentioned that recently we introduced Ceara to "Finding Nemo." She likes the colors and sounds for about 15 minutes, and then she finds a hangar, empty box, or blocks to carry to another part of the house.

A song one of that characters sings is, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...swimming, swimming..." That's how I feel today.

I said I would write every Monday - whether I had something to say or not. And for those of you who know me, it's rare when I don't. My problem today is that I don't know where to begin or about what I should write. Yet I know that I need to "just keep swimming..."

On Friday, Courtney gifted me a few moments to go and write. Strands of thoughts that had been traveling on different tracks for the past two weeks finally seemed to merge in my head, and in some ways, my heart.

I wrote eagerly. I wrote with purpose. It felt good.

Today, however, I don't know how to put simple sentences together. (It has taken 35 minutes to write this much.)

But, today I need to just keep swimming... just keep typing... just keep thinking... just keep writing... just keep praying... just keep on keeping on...

Great Fall Day with New Friends

2010-10-12T08:18:00.002-04:00

Maine trees have amazing color in the Fall. We have enjoyed watching the colors change the skyline over the past few weeks.

The sun has graced us with its visible presence the past few days. Its light dances on the leaves and makes the clouds' white *pop* against the blue sky.

Yesterday we had an opportunity to hang out with another clergy couple in the area. Their kids are about one-year and four-years in age. Up to this point with Ceara we have avoided the "princess phenomenon" - until yesterday. Our friends' 4-year-old insisted that Ceara dress up in a Snow White dress. They told us, "We tried to prolong this stage, too, in fact all her princess stuff came from friends and family." That being said, it was cute to watch Ceara play dress up with a new friend.

We ate a NC-style bbq for lunch with Maine orchard apple sauce and cider. Nice confluence of two worlds.

Caleb will be 10-weeks-old tomorrow. Wow, has the time flown. He spends his time either eating, cooing, or pooing - par for the course.

Ceara has two new 'habits' - first, she points at the cd player and claps her hands letting us know that she would like us to play some music. Once the music starts, she alternates between bouncing up and down and turning in circles - it's cute when she tries to do those things together. Second, she will pick up a toy purse, put it over her shoulder, look at us, wave, say, "Bye," and then walk into the other room - only to come back in two seconds to repeat the process again and again.

Court started back to work on the first of the month. She has already done two Sundays, and they have gone well.

Dan is getting things ready to begin traveling, presenting, and preaching on mission.

We give thanks to God for our family, for heat in our apartment, for a working toilet, for clean running water, for appliances to help cook and clean.

That's all for now.

Driving Thoughts (pt.2) - The Matrix, the Counting Crows, and Anne Lamott

2010-09-27T11:42:00.004-04:00

I have a friend who set aside a time to blog every Saturday. Sometimes he would blog at other times, yet he disciplined himself to write at a set time every week. I think I will try to do that for Mondays.

I recently drove from Portland, Maine to Charlotte, North Carolina. 16 hours alone on the road gives you plenty of time to sing yourself hoarse to "Joshua Tree." It also provides a wee bit of time to poke through the recesses of grey matter and see what sets to scurrying. I want to explore briefly returning to life in America through the lenses of "The Matrix", "Counting Crows", and Anne Lamott. These are three diverse thoughts, yet please stay with me, as I think they tie together in the end.

Before I started writing this morning I read a post from my friend, Corrigan, who works in Haiti(http://apparentproject.blogspot.com/2010/10/begging-and-dancing.html), and it caused two reactions. First, "yep, he's on to something, but how can I write in light of something like this?" Second - and after more reflection - "This actually goes along with my thoughts on 'The Matrix,'so maybe I will write."

A striking scene occurs near the beginning of "The Matrix" in which one of the characters - Cypher - decides he has had enough with 'real life' and wants to get plugged back into the Matrix. While he plans his betrayal he says, "I don't wanna remember nothing. Nothing, you understand?" As I thought about this quote I expanded upon what this character could really mean. "I want to go back to a life of distractions - a life in which I don't have to live mindful of the realities of this world. I wish I didn't know better. What would life be like if I never truly felt or truly saw? What would life be like if I could only live distracted like others - oblivious (or at least pretending to be) to the real world around them?"

In ways different and at different times along this journey I ask myself similar questions. What would life be like if I didn't see the homelessness and could let it fade into the background of city life? What would life be like if I could tune out domestic disputes down the street by turning up the T.V.? What would it be like to walk into a grocery store...or turn on the hot water...or look at a closet full of clothes... and not think of people around this world with so little? What would it be like not to feel guilty spending money thinking, "Is this really necessary, or should we not buy this and give the money to Haiti, or Cambodia, or education, or the food bank, or...?" What would life be like if I could watch the news and not care? oh wait, I don't. I didn't intend to start out that way. Somehow I taught myself to skim the BBC or watch the news with casual disinterest or calloused cynicism. Even so, I know that I can't return to a life disconnected from a hurting world. At times I want to turn up the radio or T.V. and drown out the world, only to be confronted with real world. I watch movies or T.V. knowing the story is false and the people are just actors and actresses, yet what the story represents are real stories of joy and pain. How do I live in between the faux and the real? - between the joy and the pain?

As I drove around Maine last week I stuck in the Counting Crows for some distraction. A line from a song reminded me of some time spent with a friend a couple of weeks ago. We ranted, raved, problem-solved, and imagined a world in which the Church stood up and acted - a world in which the majority of people who claim a faith actually allowed their beliefs to change their lifestyles - a world in which he and I would actually do something... The line: "'Round here we talk like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs..." Our roar gets covered up by the bills, the new T.V. series, the game, the need for cable or dish, the need for more, the coupons, the flyers, the junk mail, the real mail, the telemarketers calls, the good causes, the political spewing on radio, t.v. and bumperstickers...
Our roar gets covered up, so maybe we try to roar again. At times we roar ourselves hoarse. Other times we roar quieter and quieter into disinterest because there's no use, right? We forget that our roar actually can make a difference. We wanted the roar to route the complacency of the wildebeest, and more often than not we end up trimming our mane and rolling in the dirt to look like wildebeest. If you can't beat them, join them, right?

It reminds me of the scene from "Dead Poets Society" in which the teacher has the student stand upon the desk and sound his barbaric Yawp. Amidst the jeers, snickering, and giggling, the teacher encourages the student to give voice to the poetry of his heart. It does not make sense at first as he goes on about a "sweaty-toothed madman." Yet this moment transforms the student and grows courage in him both to speak the truth of his convictions and to allow that truth to effect the way he lives.

This leads to Anne Lamott. In her book "Traveling Mercies" she describes a time when she struggled to pray. As I sat with my friend a few weeks ago, amidst our diatribe we shared of times when we could only pray like Anne.

"Lord, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Help me. Help me. Help me."

Driving Thoughts (pt.1) - on the edges of an inside joke

2010-09-27T10:46:00.003-04:00

Driving thoughts - maybe this will provide a space to share some of the thoughts that come to me while driving... not that I blog while driving (that's dangerous!) yet while I drive my mind wanders over traffic, trees, and various thoughts, and maybe writing them down will help me to blog and to share more consistently.

I read a comment from one friend to another friend that brought into focus this idea of how serving in mission can leave you standing on the edges of the inside joke. Inside jokes often develop situationally within a relationship. "Guess you had to be there to understand," is a moderate response compared to the extreme, "What happens in [fill in the blank - Vegas, Spring Break...] stays in [blank]."

I loved living in Seattle. Yet even during my time 'in' Seattle I spent time away in other places - and I would not trade those experiences. Yet just as I had those experiences and my life went on, so to did the lives of friends in Seattle. And while we would email and talk on the phone, I missed out on some of the fun and joy, despair and pain. We had a good time when we reunite telling stories and laughing. I was enough on the inside to be a part of the group, yet my absence proved long enough to leave me on the edges of stories.

I have had this experience many times since. I am thankful for all of the friends developed in the places this journey has landed me. Thankful for the memories, inside jokes, and bearing of burdens that has occurred with others along the way.

I remember returning, too, looking in from the edges. I imagined the joy and even laughed a little, though not as deeply as others. I recall wishing I could have shouldered some of the burden. I remember the emptiness in my gut when I heard, "You weren't here. You left. You wouldn't understand."

Courtney and I talk about this from time to time. We are thankful that the thread of our stories have criss-crossed threads with many others along the way. Yet sometimes I/we wonder what it would have been like had I/we just stayed in one place or region. What would it be like not to be on the edges of the inside joke... Yet at the same time, what would it be like to deny this passion and calling to 'go'...

I don't know exactly the point of writing this, only that maybe it's a glimpse of my wandering thoughts.

This thought also leads in at least two directions. One of which I hope to blog about soon regarding the Matrix as remaining a metaphor for my life. The other I will briefly explore now.

The other day some people asked me how their congregations could support people in mission. I replied, "Write to them. Share about your life - whether exciting, trivial, or mundane. Ask them about their lives. Sometimes small specific questions are better than open-ended ones. Question like 'how's it going?' or 'what do you do?' can seem ominous at times... Engage them, let them know they matter and that they belong to a bigger story. Remember that you matter, and that you belong to a bigger story as well."

An Attempt at Restarting

2010-09-24T09:50:00.003-04:00

How do I begin? We know that we have not written consistently over the past few months... Something I (Dan) have wanted to do many times, yet when the time comes I stare at the computer screen not sure how to articulate all the thoughts. Sometimes I think I need to recap everything - thoughts, events, emotions, etc. - between entries and that daunts me. Sometimes I get too tangled in words that I know it would just confuse anyone who reads. Sometimes I just come up with too many excuses.
ENOUGH!!
I just need to write. I wrote in my journal the other day - it felt like Spring! For the first time in weeks (if not months) I felt life pouring from the pen. I once heard (can't remember where, and I don't want to get sidetracked looking for the place) that writers need to write everyday - whether they 'produce' anything good or not. It's like exercise. It's like photography - if you only take a photo once in a while you may never develop the habit. It's like... now I'm rambling.

Part of the silence has come from transition with the accompanying unknown, and not sure how to write into that space.
Part of the silence has come from insecurity - what will people think if I write this or that...

A few weeks ago Courtney and I discussed Frederick Buechner and the impact his writing has had upon us and thousands of other people. In light of the fact that memoirs and self-reflection make up a good portion of his work we asked, "How can someone who writes about himself effect so many in a positive way - especially in ultra-egocentric cultures?" I feel inundated by self-centered advertising, sports' stories, media, people on the freeway, people in public places... People looking out for their own backs first. Wait, not only first, but many times solely - never looking to another. Yet in the midst of those stories we find someone who tells his own story and it brings life.
Somewhere in his writings I read that he writes his memoirs because in some way each of our stories is the story of all of us. He writes not to set himself apart, yet to gather those scattered and driven apart together by reminding them that their stories, along with his story, are all a part of a bigger story.

Not that I vainly think this blog will have the same impact... but thoughts worth considering as I embark upon this journey to write more frequently.

I have a ton of thoughts while driving or walking around town... but by the time I get to the computer the words in my head have disappeared - like catching snowflakes in your hand, running inside to show everyone the beautiful pattern only to realize they dissolved along the way.

I probably need to discipline myself to a certain day each week, or certain days each month... but I haven't set anything in stone yet.

However, writings and reflections will come... Lord, help me.

Introducing Caleb Rocco

2010-08-12T10:41:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday night (4.Aug) at 11.34pm Courtney birthed Caleb Rocco - We hope you enjoy the pictures.

Still waiting for Chickpea

2010-07-28T22:43:00.001-04:00

Courtney will be 41 weeks tomorrow. On Monday the midwife said all looks and feels okay. We have another check-up on Friday.

The movers finally arrived last Monday. Boxes still clutter a couple of rooms, yet we make headway daily. We need to get more bookshelves, though, before we can unpack some of them.

That's all for now.

Landed? And Some Initial Reflections

2010-07-19T07:10:00.001-04:00

We arrived at the apartment two weeks ago tonight. As always, it seems to be ages in some respects while in others it seems we just drove up yesterday.
We've explored the area a wee bit finding the important things - i.e. hospital, grocery store, thrift store, local pizza place, sandwich shop, Mexican restaurant, ice cream shop, and lobster shack.
We also met the midwives and toured the birthing unit in York, which is where Court plans to deliver chickpea. We feel good about this!
Our neighborhood is almost all rental units. This area used to serve as a mill town (lumber, textiles, tannery, etc) and most of the workers rented. This trend continues even though the mills have been closed for years. (The people below us have rented that place for 11 years.) The history of tenement housing, the recent spat of foreclosures, students from University of New England (UNE is located right down the road), and people vacationing at the nearby beaches has kept the rental market alive and well.
We have not closed our windows since opening them two weeks ago - the humidity and heat would turn this place into an oven. The neighbors on this street keep their windows open, too. Therefore we know many of them by their voices, even though we have only met a few in person.
As Court and I talked about our new surroundings the image that came to mind was "Good Will Hunting" - the accents, the language, the demographic. While we didn't think about it much before our arrival, we feel that part of this next step in the journey involves intentionally being "salt & light" to this street.
I type this sitting in a camp chair we bought at a hardware store. No, we're not at the beach camping, rather I am sitting in the living room of our apartment in Maine. We left NC over two weeks ago, and we looked forward to landing or settling - and while we have had a chance to scope things out a bit - yet we still feel a bit in limbo. I tried to find words for this earlier tonight as we drove around - I think part of it is that the movers have yet to arrive. I think part of it has to do with uncertainty about when the baby will arrive and how life will change yet again.

Ceara has been a champion throughout this process. She continues to be a source of joy and laughter for us. Courtney think she is actually learning to walk faster because our things are late in arriving because there is nothing to hold onto as she makes her way across the room.

Anyway, those are some random thoughts about our new surroundings.

A Busy Few Weeks & Some Next Steps

2010-06-23T12:38:00.002-04:00

The last few weeks weeks have seen us in quite a few places. From 25 May to 2 June, Dan spent time in Haiti, and Courtney and Ceara spent time with a friend and her three girls in Snow Camp, NC. Then Dan attended the Annual Conference for the River Conference of the Free Methodist Church in Austin, TX from 4 – 6 June. Dan flew out of Austin on Monday June 7th.
On Tuesday we drove to DC to spend the night with Court's brother, Todd, and Wednesday we made our way to Kittery Point, ME and stayed with our friends, the Hoffmans. On Thursday, Courtney had an interview with a UMC church just south of Portland. On Saturday we looked for housing in case the job in ME worked out, and Sunday we rested. On Monday (the 14th) we looked for more housing in the papers and on-line because we decided for Court to take this job as a part-time pastor. Then Monday afternoon we headed into Boston and took Ceara on her first trip through the North End. She ate pizza from Regina Pizzeria and had cannoli from Mike's Pastry. On Tuesday we trekked back up to Biddeford and Saco, ME and looked for apartments to rent. Wednesday we drove to Manhattan (via a brief stop in Brockton to see some of Dan's cousins) and stayed in a guest house in Greenwich Village. On Thursday Dan met with the General Board of Global Ministries for most of the day working out the details of my new job with them (more below), and then we left to see how far we could drive before stopping for the night. Last Friday we arrived in Charlotte in the afternoon.

Dan will be the the Missionary Interpreter in Residence for the Northeastern Jurisdiction of the United Methodist Church. A long title, but here is the gist: he will liaise between our mission board – her programs and her missionaries – and the conferences, districts, and congregations throughout the Northeastern Jurisdiction helping to grow in their involvement in mission and encouraging them in ways in which they are already doing mission. Court will be a part-time – and only – pastor at a small church in Saco, ME that wants to grow and has asked Courtney to help them to attain their vision and fulfill their mission.

We found a neat, little apartment in Biddeford, and we hope to move North before the baby arrives (due date July 22) – so maybe within the next 10 days or 2 weeks.

We hope this updates you... : )

Other Firsts for Ceara

2010-06-23T11:56:00.000-04:00

Ceara has also had many other firsts these past two weeks. Our friend, Geneve, made a video slide show of pictures she took of Ceara - you can find it here: www.luminalife.com/data/web/CearaRandall
The photos above document her first: taste of Clam "Chowda"; clam with Belly; trip to the North End and Regina Pizzeria; Cannoli (from Mike's Pastry); flight of stairs; World Cup match; trip to New York City

Ceara's First Birthday!

2010-06-23T11:41:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Ceara's First Birthday this past Sunday (the 20th)! Woohoo!
Courtney made cupcakes with frosting, and Ceara enjoyed one along with her first taste of whole milk. mmm...
(I had trouble with my computer and camera linking, so these photos are from my phone)

Clean Water, Nourishment, and Opportunities for You to Go, too.

2010-06-04T12:14:00.000-04:00

(Photos are of water filter distribution, building the chicken coop, and a canal over running its bank in the rain.)
Before we left for Haiti last week, John acquired 40 water filters. On Tuesday afternoon our new friend, Emmanuel, spent time training about 35 men, women, and youth - all in some way related to the Clays' artisan program - to use these filters for their families and community. The smile on their faces lit up the room, and they must have said "mesi" a thousand times as they left.
Clean water - to drink, to clean, to make bottles for babies. Clean water - I take it for granted most of the time when brushing my teeth, taking a shower, opening the spigot to fill a glass. Clean water - alleviating worry about whether or not dysentery will follow a drink or a baby bottle. Clean water...
Our group finished the chicken coop and almost completed fencing in the yard where the chickens will live. We set the fence posts yet were waiting on the gate which was being fashioned by a local blacksmith. We purchased 30 on Monday and they are set to arrive on Saturday. The chickens are already old enough to lay eggs, so within a week or so the Clays should get about 20 - 25 eggs a day - which translates to about 2-3 eggs a week for each of their artisans. Some friends of their across town have had chickens for a few years now and have seen an increase in birth weight in babies of the women with whom they work as well as less malnourished kids in their community. The Clays hope to have similar results beginning in the near future.
Please continue to pray for them and the community of Claireville - the little part of their neighborhood in Port-au-Prince where most of their artisans live. Some of the 12' x 6' cinder block homes survived the earthquake and subsequent aftershocks, yet many live in makeshift tents and shelters because their homes crumbled completely. Hurricane season started the other day and the tent cities will be a horrible place to endure the torrential rain and ravenous wind. The Clays are looking for groups willing to come and assemble some prefab shelters - $2600 for two homes and about 7 days to put them up. Any takers? I'll go back with you, too if you want.
Another opportunity to serve exists for anyone able to quilt, crochet, knit, and sew (with a machine). The Clays want to expand their current jewelry program into making clothes, blankets, quilts, etc. - all things that could be used by people in Haiti and also sold as artisan products abroad. If interested, then let me know, and I can give you more info.
A friend used these words the other day to describe the Clays: "Two people trying to do their part to change their little part in the world."

Walls and Insignificant Thoughts

2010-06-01T08:19:00.000-04:00

The roosters got going about 4.15am today - or maybe they had been going all night and I only began hearing them then. Either way, I couldn't go back to sleep so I took a shower and then sat on the balcony trying to pray, to think, to process this time. I wrote the following in my journal:

"I look outside at the metal gates and cinder-block walls topped by razor wire and broken glass and I try to see more - I want them to mean something. I want a profound and symbolic insight like others have had in such a place, but for me it just is. They are just walls - not the kind to keep puppies or children from wandering too far. No, these walls intend to keep people out - to keep my stuff mine or my life safe - built because that's what others around me built and/or out of fear that someone might take my stuff or violate me.
In the tent cities and "shanty" towns there is no protection like a wall - there is no space to delude one into thinking they control what happens around them...
I find it interesting that one of the first things that people with means have rebuilt post-earthquake are the walls - complete with fresh razor wire and broken glass.
See, that should mean something - that should lead to some profound insight about life, or our relationship to God, or our relationships to each other, or how we cope during/after a disaster... Instead, it's just a wall. Something to separate and divide and remind us that the world is not at peace... "

In a couple of hours we are supposed to go to Citie Soleil - the poorest section of Port-au-Prince. I wonder what that will be like... This afternoon we plan to finish the chicken coop and also train 30 men how to use the water filters we brought so their families can have clean water. More later...

Cocks Crowing, Chicken Coops, and Charity Cases

2010-05-27T23:10:00.000-04:00

What a full day - it began with roosters crowing at 4am - so I got out of bed about 5.30am and sat on the porch taking in the morning.
At 7.30, the four of us - along with 2 students from Regent and 1 student from Judson - met for a time of sharing and prayer...
Then we drove to a newly opened hardware store - yes, an actual hardware store like Home Depot just a bit smaller - and bought material for various projects Corrigan and Shelley asked us to do. John and Bob are spearheading the Chicken Coop Construction, and Curtis and I built a frame for the Clays' boxsprings so that they don't get damaged when the rain comes across the floor of their bedroom. We also bought supplies to build guards on the railings so that kids don't crawl through the gaps and fall.
(The photos are of trying to put all the building materials on the roof, Corrigan and his four kids, and talking at dinner tonight.)
While we drove around we talked to Shelley, and at dinner tonight we had a good talk with Corrigan about disaster response, relief aid, and charity / donations. We learned that the best hospital on Haiti has closed - yes, CLOSED - because they couldn't pay for their expenses because they were giving away medical care AND none of the Millions of Dollars given have gone to help keep this hospital open.
One of the sayings that is common among some people (non-Haitians) who have lived and worked here for a long time: "any idea you have that you think will help Haiti, don't do it because it will probably end up hurting or having negative implications you couldn't imagine" ... The only exception to this would be education...
I struggle to articulate what is in my head, but I wanted to share the thought process journey.
Again, my eyes are closing as I try to finish writing.

Days 1 and 2 in Haiti

2010-05-26T23:54:00.000-04:00

We arrived on Tuesday, and Shelley met us at the airport. As we drove to their newly acquired guest house she gave the guys a quick introduction to the Apparent Project interspersed with comments about their lives and her impression of Haiti post-earthquake.
She took us on a walking tour of Claireville - the tent city near their guest house/workshop where they have decided to focus their efforts.
Their program has grown to 60 artisans! (They had about 12 before the quake, and 30 when I was here in February.). The sounds of laughter of people working together and children playing together is awesome!
Bob, Curtis, John and I have had some good conversations with each other and with Corrigan, Shelley, and some of the interns they have working with them for the summer. We discussed poverty & Haiti - to name just a few: real faith in these circumstances; worship and liturgy; the commonalities with other places in the world and the uniqueness that is Haiti; what social justice looks like in a place like this; and how food aid and emergency meals are no longer needed (there is plenty of food in Haiti, the people lack the resources to buy them. Free food causes a lot more disruption in the long run as it puts local vendors out of work. if the people could be employed and buy food it would stimulate their economy rather than deconstructing it. Well, it's a lot longer conversation than what can be written.)
We visited the new hardware store today to get an idea of what they carry for the building and maintenance projects on our docket for this next week - a chicken coop; bed frames; fix some doors, hang some clothesline...
Well, my eyes can barely stay open.
Goodnight.

oh, and Haiti

2010-05-19T10:40:00.002-04:00

We can't remember if we posted this or not...

Lord willing, Dan will travel to Haiti with 3 other guys 24 May to 2 June.
The plan is to meet up with the Clays (www.apparentproject.org) assisting them as we can, and also to meet other people or small groups working in an attempt to build some relationships and connect some congregations in the US with various work down in Haiti.

Please pray for: Dan and the guys; the Clays; and Courtney and Ceara during this time.

The Birds' Songs

2010-05-19T10:08:00.003-04:00

I (Dan) have wanted to write for some time, yet I struggled to find the words. Even now I'm not sure how I will articulate these thoughts, but I will try anyway. It could turn into a stream of consciousness or it could lead to helping me discern direction... I don't know, but here it goes...

Birds have had a significant role in my faith journey over the past 10 years. At different times they bring to mind various scriptures that remind me to trust, hope, and 'be still' in the midst of uncertain events. I think of times when: I sought direction and needed discernment in Kosovo; driving through particularly tense situations in Afghanistan; receiving encouragement while finishing my Master's at Duke... - to name a few. Anyway...

About two weeks ago, Ceara woke up about around 5am - a bit too early for her to start the day. I sat with her and rocked her for over an hour. She slept. The sun had not yet lit the sky, yet the birds' songs came through the window loud and clear. I listened and prayed. I thought about the birds singing... They sing because that is what they were created to do. It is part of their being. They sing because it flows out of them. To ask a bird not to sing is like asking a stream not to flow, or asking the wind not to blow.

I thought about their singing. I thought about my heart and my life. At this point in time, what does it mean for me "to sing"? What do I feel springing up from the core of my being that to restrain would be like holding back a stream or stopping the wind? (And as I write, I think that when we attempt to restrain those things it can cause a mess. However, when we harness those things it can provide energy and propulsion - like a mill or a sail or windmill or...)

Two weeks ago at 5.30am I answered the question with "pastor". I feel called to pastor - to preach, to teach, to lead in worship, to connect the global "Body", to help to engage peoples' lives and peoples' faith, to... well, it could work out in a number of ways.

Since then, Ceara has not had any more 5am wake-up calls, yet I have noticed the birds singing everyday throughout the day. And this stirs within me this call to serve as a pastor.

What does this mean for our future? I do not know. We are exploring some options and potential work opportunities, yet we continue to wait, and wait, and wait...

A friend sent this poem to us the other day and ricochets in my head...

"
Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!
Till next steps made plain shall be;
To hear with the inner hearing,
The voice that will call for me.

Waiting! Yes, patiently waiting!
With hope that need not grow dim;
The master is pledged to guide me,
And my eyes are unto Him.

Waiting! Expectantly waiting!
Perhaps it may be today
The master will quickly open
The gate to my future way.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still waiting!
I know, though I've waited long,
That, while He withholds His purpose,
His waiting cannot be wrong.

Waiting! Yes, waiting! still, waiting!
The master will not be late:
He knoweth that I am waiting
For Him to unlatch the gate. "
- by J. Danson Smith

Some More Firsts for Ceara

2010-05-13T15:10:00.000-04:00

Ceara started crawling a few weeks ago, and she "walks" while holding onto fingers. And last week, her first teeth came through - they are still to small to see in pictures as they look like two small rice grains stuck to the top of her gums.(Sorry, no pictures of these.)

This past weekend Ceara went to her first baseball game with us and her Uncle Todd.
Yesterday she made her first trip to the library.
Today she had her first piece of pizza.
Hope you enjoy the photos.

Moving on ... Sort of

2010-04-15T01:15:00.001-04:00

We are moving on ... and while we know the next step we still do not know about the future.

Tomorrow (15th) we will fly to Charlotte to spend some time with Courtney's parents. And that, friends, is our next step. Your questions probably echo some of ours: How long will we spend in Charlotte? Where will we work in the future? Where will we live? When will we move? Where will baby #2 be born?

We don't know the answers to any of these questions.
Sometimes this can lead to a bit of tired frustration and uneasiness. Yet we believe that God will make the way clear to us. Our faith is stretched as we look into the unknown of the future. The other night we ate dinner with some friends in a similar situation, and one of them reminded us (and I paraphrase) , "hey, if i know where i will be in two months or two years, then I won't really trust - I'll just try to make it happen on my own."

We know that we have God-given gifts and abilities, and we want to use them in the best way possible - that the world and people in this world will know God's love in ever deeper and truer ways. We don't want to take a job for the sake of having a job - we could have had those by now. We want to work out of the callings on our lives and the passion in our lives.

I could write in many different directions, but I need to finish packing for the morning flight.

Some Firsts for Ceara

2010-04-13T18:09:00.001-04:00

The last 10 days Ceara has had quite a few firsts - swimming, ice cream, ribs, and raspberries.
Unfortunately I only have photos of the ice cream escapade at this time.

Haiti Thoughts and Michigan Time

2010-03-12T22:02:00.001-05:00

It's hard to believe that 2 weeks have already passed since I (Dan) left Haiti.
I have tried at various times to sum up my thoughts about my time in Haiti and what that means for Haiti and for missions in general - However, my friend Corrigan has done a far better job, and therefore I recommend following this link and reading his thoughts.
http://apparentproject.blogspot.com/2010/02/show-off-chronicles-part-2-formula-for.html

Currently Court, Ceara, and I are in Michigan for a time of debriefing and transitioning counseling. We find the seminars helpful and engaging. And the conversations with other pastors and missionaries have opened up a new sense of community for us.

While Court has felt the baby-in-the-belly moving for some time, tonight is the first time that I was able to feel it on the outside. Yippee!

Snapshots

2010-02-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos I took with my phone this past week that I forgot to post earlier...
A collapsed building, a tent city, the house on the mountain in the morning and one of the men, and Corrigan giving a tattoo

A "Three-Hour Tour", A Night Hike, and Beauty Beyond Words

2010-02-23T19:43:00.001-05:00

The Gilligan's Island song went round and round in my head on Saturday, specifically, "...a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour..."

Corrigan agreed to help deliver some food and clothing to this community in Jacmel - about three hours from Port-au-Prince. The winding mountain road revealed some beautiful views, yet it also suffered severely in the earthquake. In some places, landslides and boulders had been cleared enough for one lane. In other places the cracks in the asphalt reveal that the road is about two major rainstorms away from tumbling down the mountain altogether.

We arrived in Jacmel after 3 hours, and the Haitian guys with us said, "it's just ahead - we're almost there." We started driving toward another mountain, and after 2 more hours they said, "yeah, we're arriving!" After which we drove for another 45 minutes - and this was on motorcycle trails and goat tracks! It was probably good night had cloaked the terrain so we couldn't see how crazy this was. We enjoyed the adventure part of it. After arriving (and deciding to stay the night) we hiked another 35 minutes up mountain trails to arrive in the community where we would sleep. Corrigan talked with the people for a bit, while I smiled and nodded when I recognized a word or two.

They welcomed us into a small room with a straw mat on the floor and they told us to lay down and go to sleep. But as we laid down they continued to stare at us. Corrigan and I cracked jokes with each other about being in a zoo. Oh, and did you know it goes against common sense to lay down, close your eyes, and sigh peacefully while two guys with machetes sit in chairs three feet away. A little while later I heard snoring, so I peeked through one, half-open eyelid to see one of the guys (the other one had left) asleep in the chair. He must have heard my eyelash flutter because not more than two seconds later the snoring stopped and his eyes opened.

We actually thought it a nice gesture that they cared for our safety, yet I admit I was relieved when he left around 1am.

The next morning we watched the sun bathe the crops on the mountain side with light. We took photos of children and watched them laugh as they saw the result in the little digital window on the camera. We went to the beginning of the church service, and while that could be a separate blog altogether, suffice it to say that we enjoyed watching the children's faces during the service.

We finally left to embark on our trek to the car and the 6+ hour drive back to Port-au-Prince and on that drive enjoyed the beautiful landscape we had passed in moonlight. Corrigan and I had some great conversation about 'missions', about empowerment, about accountability, and about mutuality.

On the drive back I tried to photograph one of the most beautiful things I have seen. (I didn't actually think of it that way at the time - I just knew I had to snap the shutter - yet as I write now that is how the words fell on the page and I like them.) We followed a brightly painted truck (a bit bigger than a large moving truck but smaller than a semi-) brimming with bags of coal. A woman sat atop the coal bags above the truck cab as if she were one of Hannibal's soldiers driving an elephant over the mountains on the way to some great conquest. Her body swayed in rhythm with the trucks efforts to navigate the mountain road as the valley opened up before us. And she sang. I caught a note or two on the wind.

Can words even describe it? How do you reflect that in a photo?

This became longer than I thought so I will write about this morning's earthquakes and my goodbyes in another blog at another time.

Tattoos, tent cities, and the Apparent Project

2010-02-19T23:06:00.000-05:00

I have tried to write this entry a few times, yet I have struggled with capturing my thoughts. I have felt life in my heart and service that I haven't felt for a long time. In some small ways I have had some vision refreshed and some perspective restored. I thought about these things as I lay on a tile floor staring at wooden slats in the ceiling at 6:30 in the morning.

My friend Corrigan spent about 11 hours tattooing people on Wednesday. He is a gifted artist - in all sorts of mediums - so I guess it should not have surprised me to learn that he now gives tattoos as a way to supplement their ministry expenses. Most of the people he tattoos are short-term volunteers who want to remember their time in Haiti - recently this has included those coming to help with the earthquake efforts. The gathered group ebbed and flowed in conversations and laughter most of the evening. Corrigan finished up the last tattoo around 3:15am. The rain poured down and we decided to remain and to sleep at the McHoul's house on the tile floor. (John McHoul is the pastor of Corrigan's church here and he and his wife are doing some amazing work with medical care and child birth ... check them out at www.heartlineministries.org .) I slept better in the few hours on the tile floor than I have for months. I love the feeling of deep down joy that comes in glimpses and moments unexpected.

The school where Corrigan teaches has become one point of coordination and distribution during the relief effort. Because they know Corrigan, he has received food and clothing to distribute to small communities. He involves the youth living in his home with this. Last night I had the opportunity to drive some youth to different places so they could drop off huge bags of clothing for men, women, children, and babies. These teenage boys were super excited and in the car they were singing, laughing, and jumping around. It is awesome to see the effects of positive mentoring and generosity as they gave these clothes to communities in need.

Today I was able to help Corrigan a bit by taking photos of some of the people who make the beads and necklaces with the Apparent Project in order to earn money enabling some to keep their babies, some to feed their families, and some to send their children to school.

Tomorrow we are heading about three hours outside of the city to deliver food and clothes to an area that has experienced an influx of displaced persons, yet has received very little (if any - from what he was told) of the incoming relief supplies.

Wish I could write more, but me eyes keep closing.

A Next Step

2010-02-18T00:03:00.001-05:00

We have a wee bit more direction and a next step.
It looks like we will do debriefing and transitioning retreat in Michigan for three weeks in March (8th - 25th).
Okay, that's it for now.

A Day of Errands

2010-02-17T19:26:00.000-05:00

People have asked what things are like here... Well, not having a before quake context makes it difficult to make that assessment. I have asked a lot of questions to hear others' perspectives and answers to this questions.
Corrigan and I rode around in the truck today doing some errands. I saw a lot, yet took very few pictures. Some areas had buildings pancaked or completely toppled, and other areas had a little rubble in the street but the buildings appeared okay. Some places have had concentrated cleanup efforts, while others have had no one touch them.
The picture is of the lobby area at Hotel Montana - all of the lobby debris was removed about two weeks ago. The debris in the picture is from the back of the hotel. One of the engineers explained the process of sifting and removal to make sure they do not violate any remains. It was interesting to be up there today.
There is plenty of food on the streets and in the markets, yet many people lack the funds to buy them. Some of the aid food is getting distributed while some is held up by bureaucratic tape.
Corrigan and I are off to dinner.

A mudslide, a march, and a tsunami (?)

2010-02-16T11:29:00.000-05:00

Thousands and thousands of people filling the streets singing - loud speakers chanting and bellowing prayers. The hotel courtyard has a great view of this March for Jesus.
In my short time here I have heard Haitians refer to the earthquake as 'the 12th of January' (in a way similar to Americans referred to '9/11'). Yet, many Haitians believe even a bigger earthquake will come because the epicenter of the big one that destroyed Haiti in the 19th century was in Cap Haitian.
As I watched the March a member of the hotel staff told me, "Today is a holy day and we are praying for the Tsunami."
"You mean the earthquake?" I asked.
"No, when the next earthquake comes we do not want the tsunami to come and destroy us, so the city is marching in prayer."
These pictures try to give a glimpse of the march.
Yesterday, after three days a rain, a mudslide collapsed a school near this hotel. I spoke with one of the first responders today - a group of US medics - and he said, "it rips your heart out, you know, we're pulling children's' bodies from the mud who are the same age as our kids back home... and we couldn't save four of them."
Rejoicing and mourning in both hands lifted to Heaven. Sweetness and bitterness in the same, shared cup.
What more is there to say right now...
Just an FYI: Lord willing, I'm scheduled on a flight to Port-au-Prince at 3pm today, so hopefully I will see Corrigan this afternoon or evening.

Arrival in Cap Haitian

2010-02-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

I arrived in Cap Haitian a couple of hours ago. Interesting to hear some of the local perspectives on the earthquake, its aftermath, Haitian vs. other government responses, fears of more earthquakes, etc...
I hope to make it to Port-au-Prince tomorrow or Wed. I heard that small flights might be going to PAP from Cap so I might look into that route or take a bus...
I will keep you posted.

A short delay for the Haiti trip...

2010-02-13T17:22:00.001-05:00

I (Dan) am still in Charlotte. Because of the weather along the East Coast my flights to Florida were canceled on Friday, which means I couldn't make the connection at 7am this morning.
The new plan entails flying to Florida tomorrow (Sunday) evening, and then catching the 7am flight to Cap Haitian on Monday...
That's all for now - dan

Waiting...Going...and Growing...

2010-02-09T18:52:00.004-05:00

Waiting...Going...and Growing... What on earth does that mean?

We continue to wait...currently for a debriefing retreat to open up that we can attend in order to reflect and process transitioning. While waiting we have been involved with one of our supporting congregations in Charlotte...

...which leads to the going... On Friday the 12th, Lord willing, Dan will leave Charlotte on his way to Haiti for 12 days. The first few days he will spend with a group from Providence United Methodist Church in northern Haiti where they have worked for 30 years. Then he will spend about a week with Corrigan Clay, a good friend from college, in Port-au-Prince (you can read about Corrigan's work at www.apparentproject.org)...

...which leads to the growing... yes, we are growing in patience as we wait. Yes, Ceara is growing - she almost crawled today! Also, the reason that only Dan will go to Haiti and Courtney will remain in Charlotte is that our family is growing!

Yep, Ceara will be a big sister in July. At first we thought Courtney had the flu or a cold or something else... instead, We thank God for this big surprise for us!

Sorry this is so brief, yet we wanted to throw out a quick update to everyone.

Please pray for us in these times of transition and expectancy.

Thank you.

Transition and Tribute

2010-01-19T16:32:00.003-05:00

We would like to begin this post with a tribute to Sam Dixon who died in the earthquake in Haiti this past week. He served as the Executive Director of UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief), and was in Haiti meeting to help expand health care in Haiti. We had talked on the phone a few times and met just a couple of times, yet he deeply affected our lives. We do not have any more words to offer at this time - others knew him better and others have written better - yet we wanted to make it known that we will miss him, his life's passion and his life's work. (If you would like to give to the relief efforts in Haiti, then we recommend the following two organizations. UMCOR, who have worked in Haiti for decades, guarantees that 100% of the funds donated will go to the relief effort on the ground. Their link: www.umcor.org. The next organization was started by our friends the Clays, and their house has been turned into a clinic during this time. Check out their website for more info and to donate: www.apparentproject.org.)

We also would like to update you on our transition process. Our discussions with GBGM regarding our next posting have been delayed because of their need to respond to earthquake in Haiti.

Thank you again for your prayers, your patience, and your continued support.

PEACE
Ceara, Court and Dan

Ceara at 6 months

2009-12-31T17:52:00.003-05:00

Here are some photos of Ceara at 6 months - We hope that you enjoy them!

Leaving Latvia and walking by faith

2009-12-02T22:05:00.003-05:00

Two weeks from this moment (17.Dec. 5.20am) we will find ourselves in the Riga airport saying goodbye to Latvia.

We have spent the last two months in serious prayer and discernment, and we believe God is calling us on from Latvia at this point in time - to where and for what we do not know. We believe this is the most faithful decision we can make. We do know that we will spend Christmas with Courtney's family in Portland, which is where her sister lives. After that, well...

The book of Numbers (ch.9) tells of a cloud pillar that guided Israel in their journey to the Promise Land. The cloud would settle, and they would settle. The cloud would lift and move, and they would pack up and move. The text does not tell us anything about their response beyond obedience. Yet I can imagine the voices. (Maybe because in part we are all of us Israel journeying on to a promise, yet with our own thoughts, plans, virtues and vices.) "Can we move on already, why are we still here?" "What do you mean we have to move we just got settled and familiar with the surroundings?" "Can't we stop? I'm tired." "Yes, another day in this place." "Woohoo, it's time to get moving!" etc...

Proverbs 3:5 advises, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not rely on your own understanding."

Isaiah 55 reminds us of an aspect of God: "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways above your ways and My thoughts beyond your thoughts."

We do not know to where we are going, yet we firmly believe that God is faithful and good. We will attempt to continue the blog with random thoughts and also future plans.

Please pray that we can transition well and that we can worship in this time.

2009-11-27T21:54:00.002-05:00

I have wanted to write this entry for a while...

A prayer of mine this past year has been to know God's love in deeper ways. I'm not sure what I expected when I first started praying this. I don't know if I thought I would feel a big hug, deep comfort, bubbly giddiness, etc. I just started praying.

As I have reflected on the year I see that God answered unexpectedly. I experienced a deepened understanding of the unconditional love of God, especially through realizing how conditional my love is. There are quite a few instances of my love's limits. I find it easier to love people when they are total strangers and I have no performance by which to judge them. I find it easier to love people when they are eager to serve and obedient and kind. I find it easier to love people when they tell the truth. I find it easier to love people when they listen to others and seek understanding. I find it easier to love people when pride, power, and posturing is not an issue. The list goes on and on. I'm sure you can add a few of your own.

Basically, I seem to love people when they perform well, treat me and others well and with respect, and are generally perfect in all their endeavors.

The problem is that we don't live perfectly all of the time and neither do the people we interact with on a daily basis.

Yet God's unconditional love reaches and is offered to all of these people - including you and me. How many times do I tell God that I know better, that my way is good, that I'll get around to what God asks of me in my own sweet time...

I think of how the Gospels portray Jesus. He spent time with the outcast, the beleaguered, oppressed, etc. His love offered compassion, healing, hope, and also challenge. He comforted them, and he challenged them to love in return through forgiveness, grace, and hospitality. He also spoke with those who marginalized, oppressed, and maltreated others. While his words seem challenging, judgmental, and caustic, these were meant to call these people to renewal and transformation. His love didn't coddle the abuse and tell them that they were okay and that their words and actions didn't really matter. Rather, he told them that what they did and said effected all those around them. He reminded both groups that they belonged to a larger 'family' than just their family or friends like them. He demonstrated that love may look different to different people in different circumstances. He reiterated that God has chosen to love all people, and therefore they were to love all and not only those of their choosing.

I learned of God's love by being reminded of who we are to love (everyone - even the ones we would rather right off, dismiss, and other wise ignore), why we are to love (because God has offered love to us in spite of ourselves because loves comes from God and is not earned by our success - or lost by our shortcomings and/or failures), and by what power we can do this (because on my own it is impossible, yet God has offered to help us).

When I started I didn't know where it would end. I just wanted to reflect how I learned of God's love through my failings to love and experiencing God's grace and love towards me in spite of my shortcomings.

Snow Day, Tropical Storm, T-Day, and Rolling Over

2009-11-27T11:24:00.002-05:00

Ceara has experienced many firsts these past 6 weeks.
She went to America for the first time.
She met her cousins, aunts, and uncles for the first time, along with her two great-grandmothers and her one great-grandfather. AWESOME!
She attended her first wedding.
She experienced her first snow storm (in Colorado) in which nearly all schools closed for the day. The snow was taller than she was!
She went out in rain resulting from a tropical storm (or did it become a hurricane??) in NC.
She enjoyed her first Thanksgiving - she even ate an extra bottle!
And today, Ceara rolled over unassisted for the first time, and second, and third, and fourth...well, now whenever we lay her down on her back she turns to her tummy. She's smiling at me right now as I right this.
Ceara lit up many faces and delighted crowds.

We felt truly blessed by our time in the US with friends, families, and colleagues supporting and encouraging us.

We thank God for the prayers and support of so many. We thank God for this wonderful blessing of a baby girl.

Racapturing the Wonder

2009-09-08T09:05:00.002-04:00

We came down to Wesley Camp on Sunday for a few days. Nothing is going on here - Well, at least no program, no event, no set schedule. What is going on here? Well, the apples are dropping from the trees. The birds are in full chorus. You can walk around outside and hear the waves crashing on the shore through the trees. We came down at Court's suggestion. She thought (and I fully agree!) that we need to recapture the wonder of this place. This summer we had different people comment on the beauty of this place, on the holiness they felt here, on the ways they encounter God here... yet most of the time, I could see only work still needing to be done, I could hear only criticism, and I could feel only hurt. I need to recapture the wonder of this place.
I collected about 15 ripe plums from one full branch this morning with plans to get a ladder and collect more this evening. Court has cleaned out the fridges after a summer of use (and leftovers...some of the items were unidentifiable, to say the least!). Yesterday she did some weeding around a new garden spot. I did some work on the old pump house, on a drain off the large building, and more prep work on the new parking area. We cleaned and prepared for a small group who will have a retreat this weekend. We feel good about this place. We thank God for this place.
We thank God for our little girl who amazes us with her smile, her cooing, her sleeping, her bubble blowing...
We still have a long way to go with healing (more on that in another blog, I hope) yet these past few days have been a blessing.

brokeness...

2009-07-18T10:27:00.003-04:00

not quite sure how to start this one... This summer I am experiencing that process of being broken - and I hope it is for the process of rebuilding and renewal... I hope. It's is never fun, but in God's way and time it is always good. Part of it comes from being apart from my wife and daughter; part of it comes from not be able to communicate fully and the ensuing misunderstandings; part of it comes from trying to forge a new way and meeting resistance because it is not the old way; and part of it comes because I still have much learning and growing to do... I am trying to learn, yet I think I may only do so in retrospect - which makes the present breaking down super hard.
"But I know that my redeemer lives..." I will not be abandoned. I will not be left in pieces. In that truth of God's faithfulness I can hope.

4 weekCeara update

2009-07-18T10:20:00.003-04:00

Ceara was born 4 weeks ago. At her doctor visit yesterday she weighed in at almost 9 lbs! She is getting big and yet I have only had the chance to see her and Courtney for 5 days... I miss them. Court said that all things with the baby are going well - she eats, sleeps, and fills her diaper the way a healthy newborn should. Woohoo! Court's parents were here for the first week of Ceara's life, and my mom came out to help Court with the past two weeks. Even though I only got to see her for a day, we are soooo glad that she could come on a last minute notice to play Nonna (Italian for grandma) and to help Court.
Please pray for us as we still have quite a few days apart before we can spend time together.

pictures and pronounciations

2009-06-23T04:35:00.006-04:00

Hi All, we have had a few requests on pronounciation. first, you say the word 'year' and then put an 'a' on the end and say it again - 'yeara'. Okay, now just add a 'k' sound in front (don't say the letter 'k', rather just make the sound that 'k' makes like when you say the word 'kiss'). put all of that together and you get 'kyeara' - two syallables. hope that makes sense.

now on to the photos. I think that if you click on them that they will open up bigger.

Introducing Ceara Louise Randall

2009-06-20T05:58:00.002-04:00

We welcome with joy and thanksgiving Ceara Louise Randall who was born on 20.June.2009 at 3.25am EEST (Eastern European Sunlight Time). She was 3.575kg (about 7lb. 13oz.) and 56cm (about 22 inches). Courtney is healthy. Ceara is healthy. Pictures will be posted in the next few days.

so, how did it happen? Dan went to the camp in Liepaja on the 17th because Summer Staff Training started on the 18th. Courtney had a doctor's appointment on the 19th so they could look at the baby and decide what to do. Courtney went thinking they would induce on Monday, the 22nd, if the baby didn't come naturally before then. Well, at this appointment on the 19th, the doctor decided they should induce immediately. Meanwhile Dan is doing errands in Liepaja for the camp with plans to return to Riga Monday morning. Courtney phones at 9.45am - "They are inducing labor now. You have a few hours, but come when you can." Dan arrives in Riga at 5.30pm. Courtney is walking around, yet becoming more and more uncomfortable - her lower back really started hurting. She gets an epidural around 7.45pm. She fully dialates around 11.30pm. The pushing starts around 1.15am. Ceara is born at 3.25am.
The mid-wife and the doctor did a fantastic job - we thank God for their skill and their compassion.
While we are healthy, we are also very tired - so hopefully more thoughts will come later.

...and the wait continues...

2009-06-16T16:39:00.003-04:00

well - today the doctor said that the baby is healthy in the belly and Courtney is healthy and therefore we will wait another few days... so we continue to wait...

No Baby Yet

2009-06-07T08:28:00.002-04:00

Hello - Yep, this is the place to check for baby news, yet, as of now, no baby. We will keep this place updated with baby news. Please keep praying for us as we await Peanut's arrival.

a day of cultural history (pt.1)

2009-05-28T13:27:00.000-04:00

On Sunday our friends, Rihards and Ieva, invited us to visit an outdoor museum in Riga that has buildings from the four historic regions of Latvia. We walked in fantastic weather and enjoyed a nice cultural history lesson. The windmills, living quarters, barns, churches, etc... fascinated us. We thought we would post some pictures for you to enjoy, too.
two of the windmills we saw...

our friends

Courtney, Dan, and Peanut

a day of cultural history (pt.2)

2009-05-28T13:18:00.000-04:00

These two churches are from different regions of Latvia. The interior photos come from the octagonal church. The tall, slender church is a Russian Orthodox church. It was neat to compare these with the one in the next post.

a day of cultural history (pt.3)

2009-05-28T13:11:00.001-04:00

This church from the 18th Century had paintings covering the ceiling reminding me of frescoes in some of the cathedrals in Rome. Notice the candle holder on the pulpit - I think it would weird me out to preach with that arm coming out of the wall.

Getting Ready for Summer

2009-05-28T12:39:00.001-04:00

We are getting ready for summer -both at Wesley Camp and in our family. As you can see from the photos, we finally found a stroller! I call it the transformer, because it starts out in bassinet mode - complete with a removable bassinet carrier, and then can be adjusted to hold a child up to 3 years of age... it's really cool, and I wheel it around the apartment practicing, which makes Courtney laugh. It also comes with winter coverings so we can walk around with Peanut in the snow.

The kitchen remodeling at Wesley Camp is progressing nicely. Three guys - Gatis, Romans, and Kaspars - have worked for the past few weeks and hopefully it will be finished by the time our first camp happens at the end of June! They have added a toilet, sink, and changing room, installed a pass-through window, replaced the rotting wooden beam with a steel one, tiled the floor and walls, and replaced the interior door to the dining room.

Please keep our family and Wesley Camp in your prayers as we are excited, yet don't know what to expect in the weeks to come!

In Memory of Bill Van Buren

2009-05-11T12:47:00.000-04:00

The Passing of a Dear Friend - Bill Van Buren

The communion cup was a wedding gift from Bill Van Buren. He was the founding member of the L'Arche Daybreak community near Toronto, Canada. He came to live at Daybreak when he was 16 and he passed away a little over a week ago at the age of 56.

The summer before Dan and I married I lived in the Green House at Daybreak with Bill and others. For those of you not familiar with the L'Arche Community - it is a place of community and hospitality where people with disabilities live in community with others. I was invited to come and live in the Green House to serve as part of Duke Divinity's Center of Reconciliation Summer Internships. It was a summer of transformation and one of unconditional love which will forever be imprinted in my mind and my heart.

Bill was one of the first people to welcome me into the Green House. He greeted me with a joke - which he would repeat many times throughout the summer - "How do you make holy water?" he would ask.
"You boil the h--- out of it."
No matter how many times he said that joke to me or others it would be followed by his deep and loud laughter. As guests would come through the house that summer his jokes eased the initial tension of welcoming the stranger. He was also on the lookout for new jokes, too, but never tired from his familiar ones.

I will never forget the first time I was asked to lead a morning devotion in the Daybreak community. I had no idea what to expect - I had lead devotions before but felt very vulnerable and out of my league leading devotions with people with disabilities. What do I say? How do I communicate the gospel? How do I share? I spent a lot of time praying about it and trying to think through different approaches. I finally decided upon talking about the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. What I wanted to address was not only what Jesus said but the manner in which he said it - "Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down his disciples came to him." (Matthew 5:1) Bill had decided that morning to join me for the devotion. Having just injured his leg he had to be pushed in a wheelchair to the chapel. I began the devotion with a bit of timidness in my voice and felt at first I was not understood. So I paused - at that moment Bill stepped in and we began the process of leading/sharing together. I think Bill understood my hesitancy and felt like he could share with the teachings also. So we went back and forth sharing about how Jesus taught by sitting among us and what that means with our faith. It was so natural for us to go back and forth with the lesson - almost as if we had prepared beforehand together - but we hadn't. Yet, I believe Bill had a sense about others' discomfort and fragileness. He could tell when some one was going to break. It came from a place I believe of living out his own fragileness that helped him identify with others. What we did together that morning was simply God's glory revealed. It was not my words or Bill's words but the joined voice that allowed us to share the gospel. That morning we shared, with eachother and the others gathered, the glory of God's love through Christ who came among us and sat with us.

It wasn't until I returned to Duke that following semester that I read for the first time "In the Name of Jesus" by Henri Nouwen in which he shares the story of giving a speech together with Bill Van Buren. I cried all the way through the book - for I too had experienced a sense of togetherness that summer which I will not forget. Bill would not leave you stranded. He enjoyed doing things together with others and took that charge very seriously.

It was often over a game of dominos before dinner that Bill would share stories about his life - his trips to Germany and some of his harder moments. Yet he did not stray away from talking about difficult things. Sometimes his brutal honestly could be shocking, but I came to realize he did not intend to hide the joy or pains of life. I appreciated his willingness to be vulnerable because it called me to confront a lot of my own vulnerability and shortcomings. It was a summer of conviction and forgiveness - both within the Green House and within myself.

Bill was a gift from God for those who knew him and loved him. An encoutner with Bill left people changed. It changed me and for that I am grateful. The communion cups pictured above have people with outstretched arms as if to embrace all of life - it is an image of Bill taking in the stranger and making them the neighbor through a shared joke or a common story - reflecting the love offered in the embracing arms of Christ.

Where Did April Go?

2009-05-11T09:09:00.003-04:00

Okay, we are almost halfway through May and I'm trying to figure out where April went. Court and I have had full schedules - good things. We have still been taking a Sabbath day each week - what a gift in the midst of things to rest, worship, and be refreshed.
Court took me out for lunch at a nice restaurant on Thursday for my birthday - and she bought me a new shirt for the occasion. The lilacs are blooming so we paused for a photo of peanut, the shirt, and the lilacs.

Courtney's brother, Todd, came to visit during Easter, and we had a great time hanging out, building baby furniture (a crib and changing table), coloring eggs, and walking through Riga.

For the 4 Sundays in April I was in 4 different congregations in 3 different countries. Todd actually arrived in Europe the week before he came to Riga, and I met him in Paris for a few days and then we went to Rome briefly before coming to Riga. I had a chance to worship in the American Church in Paris on Palm Sunday - almost three years since I had last worshiped with that congregation. What an amazing restorative few days in Paris. I thank God for a few friends with whom I was able to reconnect and share the past few years. Todd also came with Courtney and me to the Easter service we led for one of the smaller congregations who met in the kitchen of the lay leader.

The week after Easter I attended worship in a Lithuanian Methodist congregation, and it was the last official duty of Bishop Olsen who has been a great encouragement to Courtney and me these past 18 months.
While I was in Lithuania, Courtney organized an event for the youth called 24-hours of Service with youth from various congregations participating. What an amazing opportunity for youth to engage people across generational and socio-economic lines to discover that sharing our lives' stories and listening to the stories of others can be encouraging, restoring, and redemptive. At 7 months pregnant Court did awesome staying up until 2.30am and sleeping on the floor.
In gearing up for summer, Court has met with the program leaders for each camp and I have met with our first ever summer staff - We are excited to see how things work this summer.
A group of 6 folks from Tennessee came for a week and we hosted them for part of their time - sharing our lives, going to the Hope Center for bbq, games, and songs, and we even spent a night at Wesley Camp. They brought a few things for the baby. THANK YOU!

Court starts her maternity leave at the end of this week, so she is trying to tie up as many loose ends as she can for the summer. The doctor said we should be prepared for anytime after next week for a delivery... woohoo, peanut is on the way : )
Hopefully we will write more in the time before Peanut (our nickname for baby Randall so we don't slip out with the name that's supposed to be a surprise).
Okay, so that is just to catch you up on things : )

peanut in the park (with mom and bubbles)

2009-05-02T04:34:00.000-04:00

Spring has come to Riga - almost overnight, it seems. We took Peanut on a walk to a nearby park and blew some bubbles in the welcomed warm weather : )

"Interesting" Encounters

2009-03-25T00:47:00.003-04:00

"Interesting" is a wonderful enigmatic word - at least in certain American English contexts. It can mean we truly want to know more, or it can mean we heard too much information and wish we could forget. We use it to describe an experience about which we do not wish to say anything negative, yet we about which we can't say anything really positive. Sometimes I use it when I do not know what to say - when I am still processing an experience or encounter and I am trying to decide why there is an awkward or unsettled feeling inside. Okay, I tried to explain it. (Those of you who know what I am trying to say understand, and those who do not use the word in this way, well, please just nod, feign agreement and say, "Hmmm...that's interesting.")

All that to say that I have had a couple of "Interesting" encounters in the past few days. (Before I continue, though, I have to tell you that the color the rising sun paints the building across the abandoned lot out the window is absolutely amazing!)

Interesting encounter #1
On Friday we received a phone call from a clerical friend in Estonia (the country north of Latvian) asking for a bit of assistance. He went on to tell us that he did not quite understand the situation himself, but this is what he knew: A young man from one of their congregations was in a hospital in Lithuania (the country south of Latvia), and he did not know why - only that he had been missing from his town for two weeks. The hospital was sending him back to Estonia via bus which had a six-hour layover in Riga. Because of this person's condition, it would be good if someone could meet him Riga, spend some time with him and make sure he got on the correct bus at the correct time to make it home to Estonia.

Court and I knew this was one of those moments we had to be interruptible. Court had a Sunday School Teacher Training on Saturday, which she needed to lead and in which I only had a part. I went to the bus station alone after my part, armed with a magic-marker sign with a name and my mobile phone for this young adult to call our friend in Estonia and confirm that, while strange, I was not a stranger.

I found the young man near a ticket window trying to change his ticket and return to Lithuania. I asked him to phone our friend, and after a few minutes of conversation he was excited to be on his way Estonia. He had an amazing command of English, so communication was not an issue. It didn't take me long to realize some sort of developmental delay or slight mental condition existed as parts of stories changed and he didn't quite grasp the concept of time. Our time was, indeed, interesting, yet not because of these things.

As we would walk by the flower vendors on the street he would stop, smile at the vendor, cup his hands around the blossom, inhale deeply, then stand up with outstretched arms and proclaim, "Ahhhhh...Spring. God is amazing." As we walked through the park on the way to lunch he would look at the hint of buds on the trees (not sure if they should bloom or stay closed because of the obscure weather we are having) with a smile and then he would quack at the nearby ducks and waddle after them a few steps.

These are things I know I should appreciate - and in some ways I do. Yet in other ways I have satisfied myself with the knowledge of awareness alone rather than actually receiving the gift of the coming of Spring. I'm not completely oblivious to the flowers or tree buds or ducks, yet I don't stop to inhale, gaze, and play.

Even before the "Jesus loves you" experiment (previous blog) I was aware of the homeless and destitute on the streets. Yet in Riga I have told myself, "I don't speak Russian and I'm not sure how far my Latvian could carry me in conversation..." As a result I smile, I acknowledge, I pray, yet I have rarely said anything.

As this young man and I walked past a church in Old Riga we saw a lady, bundled against the cold, sitting on her crate with a jar-lid in her palm. As he saw her he reached into his pockets, and upon finding nothing, placed his hand on her shoulder and started speaking in English. At first I was startled by his inhibition, then I was startled by the smile on the lady's face as she looked up at him. She was not scared or agitated. She simply said, "I don't understand." So I ended up translating into Latvian as he told her that he didn't have any money but he knew that God loved her and he asked God to bless her this day.

This happened a few more times, and, to my surprise, these people did not feel threatened or angered that someone would approach them, touch them, and speak to them. I will venture to say this would not be the case with every person on the street - but still...

It did seem a long day, yet this interesting encounter has had me thinking awareness moving to action.

Interesting encounter #2
On Sunday after church a young adult approached me and told me she was not in service because some people stopped her in front of the church and started asking her questions about the Church, the Bible, God, etc... She talked with them the entire time. She asked if I would be willing to meet with them later in the week. So, yesterday afternoon she, the pastor of Riga 1st, and I met with three of these people.

I do not know what I had expected of the conversation, but I do know that I didn't expect this encounter. I think both the pastor and I were confused as to what these people were asking and wanting and what they believed. At first we tried to answer what we thought were their questions on why denominationalism and what the Methodist church believes. Somehow that missed the mark. They said they represented a group of people who wanted to read the Bible together do what Jesus said, and that they didn't understand why so many people follow tradition and listen to others for interpretation. They said, "The Bible speaks plainly and clearly and we should just do everything it says - no more and no less."

Little bells and lights always go off in my head when I hear someone say, "We just want to do what the Bible says without interpretation to skew it," because they, perhaps unknowingly, already are interpreting it. (One Biblical scholar suggests, "To read is to interpret.")

I tried to engage them in conversation about certain texts they read by tying it in with the whole story of scripture. I don't think I communicated very well. For them, it seems that while the whole of scripture is important, each individual verse stands on its own (rather than in relation to the verses around it), and therefore they can be pulled out and placed together alongside other 'independent' verses to make a point. While I think it is good to weave texts together to build a more comprehensive picture and understanding, we must do so while honoring the context in which certain phrases are mentioned. (This reminds me of a link someone sent me to a YouTube clip of George W. Bush, in which someone jokingly cut and paste different words and phrases of his speeches over the past eight years to make a new, abusrd comedy clip. Did he utter each of those words and phrases? Yes. Did he intend them to have the meaning that the new clip conveyed? I would guess, no.)

I am not saying these people are wrong in their pursuit to follow Jesus. Yet I wonder how to convey to them that what they obscurly told us of their beliefs is itself an interpretation of scripture. I didn't hear joy or grace or peace in any of what they said...and for me, those are essential elements of a Christian understanding of God and God's love and interaction with all of creation, humanity included.

Anyway, after two hours I left with the plan to come home and make dinner. I replayed the dialogue over and over again in my head. How could I have said this differently or used a better example? What were they really trying to understand - what was the issue? I didn't make dinner. I didn't do much of anything except sit on the couch with a headache and stomach ache. I prayed for them. I prayed for the young adult, for the pastor, for myself. I went to bed a bit uneasy.

When I awoke at 3 o'clock this morning, however, I felt better. I had a renewed vigor. I awoke with the words of the Apostle's Creed resounding in my head. Hebrews' passage on the "Great Cloud of Witnesses" chimed in now and then. (My apologies for those to whom these references seem like gobbledegook, these are parts of the Christian story which refer to Who God is and who we are in God.)

I hope to encounter these people again for another conversation. Until then, I will pray for them and remember, "Jesus loves you."

Well, these two encounters have provided me with some 'interesting' food for thought especially because they occurred so close in relation to each other. It has also provided a rather long blog that I hope you find, well, 'Interesting.'

The "Jesus Loves You" Experiment

2009-03-24T22:10:00.004-04:00

"Jesus Loves You." Frederick Buechner tells a story in one of his sermons in which he hears this phrase directed at him as he walks through Central Park in New York one Spring day. He says that it catches him by surprise and it takes him a few seconds to realize what just happened, yet as he stops and turns around to find the person, she is long gone mingled in the mass of pedestrians.

I read this sermon about five months ago, and this story confronted me, challenged me, and would not leave me alone. I have re-read it few times. I decided to try an experiment, and it has made a difference in my life. I don't feel nearly as bold as the woman in Central Park to speak these words aloud to those I pass on the street. However, as I walk down the street - or wait in line at the store - or people watch at the bus station, I look at each person and in my head say, "Jesus loves you!" This completely changes the way I see people. I say it in Latvian, and I need to learn the Russian - it helps me "contextualize" the situation. (When we were in Rome I tried to say it in Italian.) It challenges my inclination to judge or take offense or gawk or avert my gaze. It reminds me that God truly loves each and every person - the crippled beggar; the arrogant mafioso; the girl too young to have lost her innocence; "Jesus loves you!" - the important business person; the despondent store clerk; the toddler amazed by falling snow and his mother who needed a few drinks to cope with single-parenthood; "Jesus loves you!" - the bitter man to beat down to be amazed by anything at all; the young couple laughing as they walk arm and arm; the other couple whose yelling leads to blows; "Jesus loves you!"- the men from other countries here on "woman trips"; the young women who go after those men; the driver who cut me off in traffic; "Jesus love you!" - the ...

Sometimes this phrase leads to giving a loaf of bread or placing a coin in a palm or praying for a person throughout the day. Hopefully this can lead to the courage of the Central Park woman, for it is not enough for me to see people as loved by God, because they need to know it, too. (More on this thought in the next blog.)

This experiment has me thinking of another experiment along similar lines to carry out simultaneously - the "I forgive you" experiment...

As you go through the rest of your day today, May you know in a tangible way that God loves you and that God's love is for everyone around you. PEACE

A Sleepless Night in Riga

2009-03-24T21:59:00.002-04:00

Tonight is one of those sleepless nights. You know the ones in which you toss and turn yourself into dreams of strange settings with people you haven't seen in years - if ever at all - only to wake thinking about how to get done all the things you feel you need to do, yet still wondering what brought all the eclectic thoughts together to produce the weird dream sequence... and all of it rambles on and runs together like this sentence.

As I type I can hear Court sleeping peacefully. This is good. She has had a couple of long and intense weeks - good things, yet still a lot considering she is growing a baby. She will probably be awake in about 40 minutes as that is when the baby usually starts the gymnastics for the day.

I didn't want my tossing and turning to disturb her, so I thought I would get up and blog... hence, the next two entries...

Peanut Pictures Posted (i.e. The Belly), OR How I Might Get in Big Trouble and Sleep on the Couch Tonight

2009-03-11T04:28:00.005-04:00

Well - so many people have asked to see the baby in the belly. Personally, I think Court looks cute with her prego-belly. However, Court has been reluctant to have the photos taken. She acquiesced to photo requests on a few occasions (I told her how much pressure I was under from people to post the belly picts).
So even though I might get in Big Trouble, I wanted to share these picts with you.

Sometimes, it's the little things that get you

2009-03-02T08:35:00.003-05:00

Of all the wonders in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, a small, laser-printed sign caught me by surprise.

A week ago today Court and I gazed up at the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel and walked around St. Peter's. (The gift of a weekend in Rome came from an anonymous source who wanted us to do something fun before the baby arrives.) Awe, Wonder, Majestic - all these words could describe St. Peter's. Not one part of the interior suffers neglect or lack of adornment. I have heard the critique of "gaudy - over-the-top - a waste of resources." I make no attempt to defend the church, yet the word that kept coming to mind was worship.

Anyway, of all the sculptures, mosaics, paintings, and other things by famous craftspeople, one thing has stuck with me this past week - a small, computer printout (albeit on cream-colored Vatican stationery) in four languages set out by the tomb of St. Peter: "To whom else shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." - John 6:68, St. Peter talking to Jesus.

We hear and read news stories talking about the difficulties in the world. We know people effected by the economic downturn (I'm sure all of us do), and the prayer concern of many (in churches here and elsewhere) is: "What are we going to do now?"

"To whom else can we go? You have the words of eternal life." These words echoed as I looked up at Michelangelo's frescoes of creation and became drawn into the way he captured God's action of separating the moon and sun and bringing forth life.

"To whom else can we go? You have the words of eternal life." These words echoed as I heard the words of Ash Wednesday: "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

These words came to mind as I rode the bus the other day. Maybe they can give a glimpse of what I have failed to articulate so far:

Remember, we are dust,
To whom else can we go, you have the words of eternal life,
You are THE word of eternal life,
You have come down among us to give us life,
You are the breath of life,
Without your breath of life we are merely dust,
And even in this life we know that to dust we shall return,
Yet the mystery proclaims that you shall come again
once again enlivening us forever, never to return to dust again. amen.

Snow falling gently

2009-02-18T13:53:00.004-05:00

The weather reporters in Latvia predicted winter to come late this year in February. Well, winter has arrived here in Latvia. When I awoke today I looked out our window to see snow coming down almost horizontally. The snow continued throughout the day and began to stick a little bit to the streets. As I walked home this evening I encountered my favorite type of Latvian snow - the soft powder snow that gently and slowly falls. It is light enough for the street sweepers to brush away using their bundled tree branches. When it falls on your coat and hat it simply sits there not making things heavier or damper but just peaceful. It is a peaceful kind of snow - one that lets you know there is still gentleness in the world. I am not sure I really every paid attention to the type of snow or how incredibly descriptive snow can be. Yet today I marveled at the sight.

Adding to my new understanding of snow also comes an appreciation for a new winter coat. The coat I currently have is getting a little bit too little for my pregnant belly. So Dan and I have been looking for a winter coat which would cover and keep me warm. We found a store last night who is going out of business. Inside two very nice women helped me to find a coat which fit now and would not look too big next winter post pregnancy. We were thankful for their help and assistance. Yet, I am also aware as I left the store with my beautiful and on sale coat that there is another store closing in Latvia. So as the economy continues to struggle and fall here very much like the snow, I say a prayer for the job situation here.

No matter where I went today I had to shake the snow off my hat - what a blessing and a great reminder of God's creation. Even with something so small and abundant like snow there is such an incredible detail to it that it can be described and viewed in so many different ways.

So let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.....

"Girlfriends" Around the World

2009-02-15T13:19:00.005-05:00

Today Courtney preached in translation, and I lead worship in Latvian - well, I tried to that is.

See, I have done it before, and found the congregation patient with me. They are kind of used to my Latvian by now. Granted, services are shorter because I just can't say as much in transition or prayers, yet the 'less is more' theory holds true.

This particular congregation has a candelabra with four candles, and each week they light the candles remembering and praying for other congregations throughout the global body. Today as we were saying prayers, I decided to expand upon the lighting of these 'congregational' candles. I didn't really notice the strange looks - or maybe I subconsciously mistook them as responses to the wax I dripped everywhere.

After the service the wonderful pianist approached me - and then at least three or four more people after her - to help me a bit with my Latvian. I added one syllable too many while speaking, and, apparently, I invited the congregation to pray for "my girlfriends" - rather than "our congregations" - in the UK, Norway, the US, and Denmark. Graciously each said, "Don't worry. While it caught me off-guard at first, I understood what you were trying to say."

Court and I had a good laugh about it, and we hope it might make you smile.

PEACE - dan and court

Applause!!

2009-02-06T18:45:00.002-05:00

One of the things that still surprises me when I land in Riga is that most of the plane erupts in applause. I had quite a few flights in the U.S. these past two weeks and none of them ended in applause.

As a kid I would cheer at baseball games. In December I applauded at the end of the Nutcracker. Yet sometimes I find crowds applaud because that is the expected or desired response though it may not be a heartfelt response. It had me thinking, "When do we applause and why?" I found I like to applaud in true appreciation, in heartfelt joy, in honor of a job well done, and in praise and thanksgiving to God. While I do not always applaud in these circumstances, maybe I should begin to do - even if people look at me funny. This entry will serve as a cyber-applause for some recent events.

Some recent reasons for applause:
* feeling the baby move in Courtney's belly
* a fantastic two weeks in the U.S. with the brief moments of blessing with friends and family along the way
* a great conference in California with many new ideas and insights into camping ministry
* a chance to preach and re-connect with folks at Center UMC
* a warm apartment
* safe landings of all my flights
* a tangible presence of God's grace and love for me
* the Redwoods!!
* morning coffee
* Courtney
* gracious and patient friends around the world

May you notice and discover reasons to clap your hands today!

Riots, Haircuts, and an Anniversary

2009-01-14T08:41:00.002-05:00

In case some of you saw the news yesterday/today and decided to check our blog, we wanted to let you know that we didn't participate in the "Riot" last night - we didn't even go downtown to the gathering. Click on BBC to read their story if you didn't see the news. While the riot did not affect us, the issue has relevance to some of our work as many people are effected by the economic situation of government spending, higher taxes, and higher inflation.
In the past two days, both Courtney and I received professional haircuts - woohoo! While I appreciated the last two cuts my friend, Rihards, did with clippers, it was nice to have a professional touch - in fact, it has been one of the best haircut experiences I can remember. Why? I don't know exactly, except that I left the place lighter and full of joy. Court's hair looks awesome - just off her shoulders, layered, some bangs... maybe if she lets me take a picture I can post it here.
On Monday, the 12th, we celebrated our 29th month anniversary. That's right, every month on or around the 12th we try to do a mini-celebration. It started out involving pizza and it has evolved into Italian food (half of the time we make it and half of the time we go find a place). And on Monday night we stumbled upon a new (to us) Italian restaurant in Riga. (Now we have TWO authentic and one chain place we can go!)
Oh, and by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

A Few Answers to Prayer

2008-12-31T13:05:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year's Eve!! We are off to a games, food, and fireworks night in a few minutes, but I wanted to take a moment to write about a few prayer requests.

"Prayer" can sometimes be a daunting word - or task, and sometimes it can seem wildly unknown and foreign. Sometimes it happens when we are unaware. Sometimes it seems an automatic response to situations - so automatic, in fact, that at times we forget we even asked God for help, wisdom, intervention, etc... And only as times passes and we look back do we remember and realize, "Oh, wait a minute, didn't we pray about this or that or the other?"

When we returned to Latvia in November, Courtney needed to see her doctor about the baby. Her doctor informed her that she would be out of town, but she could see her associate. Now we liked this doctor because she appears competent, proficient, AND she speaks English!! The thought of trying to do the doctor/baby/ultrasound/what will having a baby in Latvia be like conversation in Latvian added a bit of anxiety. We went anyway, praying that we could understand enough of the technical language to know what to do... we walked into the office and the associate spoke to us in English and appears just as competent as Court's first doctor. What a relief...and a reason to give thanks for God's provision.

Last week Court didn't feel well. She had the same pain in the same place for a few days - sometimes a dull ache, sometimes a sharp pain. Finally we phoned the Ob/Gyn to ask for an appointment. She informed us that her office (and most doctors' offices for that matter) are closed until January 5th, so we should go to the hospital and have them check Court. As we understand things, here in Latvia, without a doctor's recommendation, the only way for a hospital to see you is if you go to an emergency room. An emergency room in a foreign language when things didn't seem an absolute 'emergency' appeared daunting to us. We prayed, asking for wisdom, strength, and help. The next day, Court's pain was gone and it hasn't returned since. Coincidence? Maybe, yet we are thankful that God can bring relief.

One more story (there are many to tell) involves the Hope Center. Their grant is running out, and the budget has been stretched as thin as possible. At the beginning of December they had just enough to pay the staff and house the girls, and then they received notice from the government about year-end health and fire inspections, which cost to have completed, plus the costs of the remodeling they require to have done. If these things weren't completed, the Hope Center would have been shut down and the girls and their babies would have no where else to go. We prayed and asked God to provide for all that is necessary - and knowing that many times, God allows others to be answers to prayer, we started telling the story to others. In the midst of holiday spending and fears over the plummeting economy, various people and groups gave enough to help the Hope Center get through the next couple of months. WOOHOO!! God does answer prayer - not always how we expect, yet the answer always comes - whether it be a 'yes,' 'no,' or 'just wait and trust.'

I know many people have many questions about God, prayer, and the 'whys' and 'why nots' associated with those questions. I don't intend to offer a theological defense here, nor do I want to try to explain why some seem answered and some seem forgotten. I just wanted to take a few minutes and say that I know God hears, and I am thankful for the relief and response we have felt these past few weeks.

Well, we're off to celebrate the New Year with some friends. We are not sure what will happen in 2009, yet we know that we can trust our ever-faithful and loving God to be with us throughout this next year.

We pray that you would know peace in that reality as well.

PEACE ~ Dan and Courtney

Christmas, Light, and the Past Few Weeks

2008-12-29T06:02:00.004-05:00

Once again, a few have passed since posting...sorry.
The past few weeks have seen Courtney trying to fight off a nasty cold-and-sinus doozy that kept her on the couch and doing minimal activity for almost 3 weeks. She seems to be just about over it, and for that we are thankful! I (Dan) took a 6-day intensive training course for camp leaders - a requirement from the Latvian government for all camp leaders. Some of the information was new (especially Latvian law and regulations), some of it was review from my camp experiences, and ALL of it was in Latvian - even the two tests at the end! I am so thankful for my friend, Rihards, who attended the course with me to help translate. We both passed the tests, too - woohoo! (and Praise the Lord!!)

LIGHT! - the days are becoming longer, which means a bit more light through the windows, and that is a blessed thing. In fact, we have had mostly clear skies the past few days. On Christmas we watched the sky turn orange, red, pink, and then purple before becoming dark around 4pm... and the past few mornings the we have glimpsed the clouds turn from orange to gold as they caught the rising sun at 8:40am. We look forward to the lengthening of days over the next 6 months.

CHRISTMAS! - Two weeks ago (the 15th) I went on a Christmas tree hunt with Rihards. We met up with Riga 1st's part-time maintenance man, Janis, at his country home and tromped through the woods with his two dogs. After walking a while we found a nice little grove with some skinny little trees, and borrowing Janis' handsaw, I cut one for our apartment in Riga. In the photos you can see the three guys and the tree - in the woods and in the apartment.

We wanted to attend some of the Christmas Eve services in Methodist churches in the eastern part of Latvia, yet Court didn't feel well, and the 4 hours on a train and almost an hour of walking wouldn't help her feel better, so we attended the candle-light service at Riga 1st which started around 4pm. We got home about 6.30pm and made our traditional 'Ante Pasta' which includes a variety of meats, some cheese, olives, bread, etc...
Christmas Day turned out a lot quieter than expected, and we welcomed the time to chat, read, and talk to our families on the phone. On Second Christmas (Dec. 26th), we went to the Hope Center with a few others because they were having a small Christmas party for the girls and their babies, yet even more exciting - two of the girls AND their babies would be baptized. Courtney really enjoyed the opportunity to help with the service
and to distribute gifts to the girls from some folks in North Carolina. (Thanks, Jacquie and Cirlcle 5!) Yesterday after church we went over to Gita's house (the District Superintendent and the pastor of Riga 1st and Cesis) for a small Christmas/New Year's party. They cooked an awesome roast and we exchanged gifts and sang songs and played games.

Court and I look back on this past year and we give thanks for God's grace and love experienced through the support of our friends and families, and also in the peace and perseverence in the difficult times. We are amazed at the little life growing in Court, and also nervously excited as we anticipate a lot of changes with the baby coming at the end of May or beginning of June.

So many, many more thoughts, but that's it for the random stream of consciousness at this time.

PEACE - Dan and Court

Ebbs, Flows, and the Nutcracker

2008-12-06T06:55:00.002-05:00

Ebb and Flow describes this past weeks - emotionally, physically, mentally... We have had some good times with people, some frustrations causing stress, we have felt alert and out-of-it - and that's mostly because of a virus working its way through (and hopefully out of) our bodies. Court has taken the brunt of it with congestion, coughing, and soreness - yet she has actually taken time to lay on the couch and rest.
I had a couple of frustrating days at the beginning of the week...not one thing exactly, but enough to steal the joy and peace.
Anyway, in the midst of all that, we still had tickets for the Nutcracker ballet on Wednesday night. (An amazing thing about living here is that people love ballet, opera, etc... AND tickets are accessible to everyone. Tickets started at $5. We payed $20 and sat 14 rows from the orchestra pit.) We decided to make the attempt to go. WOW! What a great evening. The inside of the opera house is probably the most beautiful building interior I have seen in Latvia. The orchestra played wonderfully and the main dancers performed exquisitely. We had a nice walk home, and the fresh air and exercise did us both some good.
We are constantly reminded that God is faithful and good. We have hope that is steadfast. Even if circumstances don't always seem good, we can trust that God will not abandon us - and that God will always provide those things necessary for us to live in hope and peace.

Thanksgiving in Riga

2008-11-27T15:50:00.004-05:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Latvia today. Some of our American friends in ministry here in Riga came over joining three folks who flew in from Alabama today (they came to do a training in Lithuania). We had mashed potatoes, cranberry-apple sauce, salad with craisins and mandarins, stuffing with fennel, bread, scalloped potatoes, honey-glazed carrots, green-bean casserole, and...Chicken. Yep, turkey was way too expensive, so we decided on two small birds and stuffed them and rubbed them in honey from a local farm.

We're Back - and in a blizzard, sort of

2008-11-23T10:59:00.002-05:00

Well - we returned to Latvia last week and finally returned to blogging today. Yesterday and today has given us the weather we expected when we arrived last year - snow and wind and cold. We are thankful that we live in a apartment with HEAT. woohoo! A friend told us that the news said that the real bulk of the storm will arrive on Monday and Tuesday. So for people in the Carolinas, Tennessee, and thereabouts, this is a blizzard. For those from New England and the Rocky Mountain region, this is just one of those winter storms when your glad for hot chocolate (Thanks, Grammy!!) and hope the electricity doesn't go out.

We had a very full time in the states - a lot of driving, a bit of flying, and plenty of good food with friends and family. We visited various camps and met with their directors, which proved quite enlightening and encouraging for some of our work in Latvia. We enjoyed eating ice cream with our niece, Aria, and nephew, William, in Georgia, and we had a blast carving pumpkins and making chocolate chip cookies with our niece, Emily, and her new baby sister, Brooke, in Portland.

Well, the small, latchless window in the kitchen just blew open, so I'm off to keep the snow out of the apartment.
PEACE